[Newly_diagnosed]

THis is a short post however a deep deep issue. I have a huge problem with a family member. The problem is not only had by me but with other family memvbers as well toward this particular person..

Ideally I would like to banish his person from my life. As they are an unhealthy individual for me to be around. However. I am attatched to this persons children and dont want to lose that bond.

Help what do I do?

Do not have enough information to respond, but wish you luck in finding a solution.

[mlpHolmes]

Can you sit down with the family member you do not get along with
and talk all your feelings out?
Perhaps they are willing to adjust/change their behaviors that are annoying to you & others?

Tip & Hints
Use "I" statements,
use only Soft Voices
no interruptions
nothing physical

[Tatyana2009]

I guess it depends a little whether this is a brother (or sister for that matter), a far relative or an ex wife - I think there my post would have been different depending on this.

In general - better to work things through and reach a middle ground than go to extremes but I do know that with certain individuals this is not possible...

Good luck!

[Elysium]

I think, regardless of the relationship between you and this person, that if they are unhealthy for you, you need to decide what you can and are willing to tolerate from them.

Being attached to the children is difficult and if you would like to continue having a relationship with them then you will need to set some boundaries for the relationship with their caretakers. This could be difficult because if you set the boundaries, there's no saying if this person will adhere to them. But, this is the best way I know of to keep your relationship with the children and distance yourself from this unhealthy person.

Boundaries are the name of the game. If you are going to set them, be consistent, otherwise it will only cause more distress in the relationship.

If you ever feel like sharing more, we're here for you.

[Xelora]

That is tough. If they are small children still under the nasty person's care you may have to be politely reserved in what you say to keep access to them. But also while trying to not let the nasty person get the idea they can hold it over you. >_< good luck and hugs

[Newly_diagnosed]

Hi all, Thank you for your support.. To give some more detail is tough but I'll give it a shot.

This person is my husband's sister. He has a difficult relationship with her too. She seems to always have power of every gatherings,conversations, and just down right manipulative. To give you an idea she always uses the kids to get to us.

A prime example is if I put a boundry of how often i go visit their family (for my sanity and safety) she will have one of her daughters call me and ask me to come over.(kids are 4 and 2 1/2.

There are several different reasons for this difficult relationship. I know the best thing to do for me and my system is to stay away. But i'm not sure if that's worth the sacrafice of letting go of my nieces.

thanks guys...i really appreciate the help and advice!! Not sure what I'll do yet. But i'll keep ya posted