[srilak]

I am Srilak and 31 years old.I am so depressed about my relationship with a close friend.
He is 6 years elder than me and professionally a driver. But I am an executive. I love him so much and his family too.I love his wife and two sons very much. (sons ages 13 and 5) I speak them brother and sister because they are like my own siblings.
My friend is bit alcoholic and I do not like that. Now he is 37 years old.He does not like to give up alcohol. He is so aggressive and treats me sometimes very badly. I am so sad. I do have only this friend such close and I feel I wanna die when he scold me. Specially when he is drunken, he verbally agressive to me. We do not meet very much regularly. Therefore I wanna have a phone call regularly. He replies me often but very agressive to me sometimes. I feel embarassed. I feel extremely sad when he scolds me. Sometimes I wanna speak with his elder son, but he rejects it.
I have given so much things to him. Money, various helps, Love and Affection like a younger brother.Why he rejects me like this?I know him very well and he knows me very well. We are so close. But he rejects me sometimes. Specially when he is drunken. (Actually I have objected his alcoholism for sometime because I do not want lose him and I love him so much). Even his wife knows that. Sister knows how much i suffer from this. Even she suffers from this.Why is this? I feel I am lost . Please help me . Before I die......
Thanks
Sri lak

[Belle1979]

I don't really have any answers for you just wanted to let you know that I have read your post and hope that you figure out what to do

[Tatyana2009]

Does not sound good....

I wonder what happened just before you posted this Sril Lak??..

Of all the people in the world, why do you allow yourself to become depressed because of the inappropriate manner in which this person treats you? He is needs help and has a problem. You know he has a problem. Why make one for you too?

[cantstopcrying]

I know that the heart goes where the heart wants. I know also that loving (in any way) an alcoholic hurts. It hurts our hearts, it hurts our self esteem, it hurts everything and everyone they touch. As much as you worry about him, care about him, and hurt for him, please believe that you can only help yourself, you cannot help him. He has to help himself. I speak from experience and knowledge gained from that experience. The reasons you stay involved in his life are your own and no amount of explaining to anyone will make anyone understand. I can sit here and tell you that you do not deserve to be talked to in the way he speaks to you, and while that is true it will not change your heart. What you do need to understand, though, is you cannot do anything to change him. You cannot do anything to change his rejection of you, his verbal abuse of you. What you can do, though, is not believe the rejection of you--whatever form it comes in. If he says hurtful and negative things, reach inside yourself for the belief that he is wrong. If he physically rejects you, do not think it is because there is something wrong with you. Alcoholism is what is wrong and it is wrong with him, not you. Unfortunately I know all too well the pain and sense of helplessness you are feeling. Right now, the best thing you can do is to work on you, belief in yourself, belief that as much as you love him and care about him, you need to love and care about yourself more and he needs to love and care about himself before he can love and care about you.