[salukigirl]

For those of you who read my other posts on my Grandma, I saw her over Christmas at my Uncle's house. About a month ago the people in assisted living had to switch her to all pureed foods because she can't handle solids anymore. And she can't feed herself either. My uncle had to feed her the whole time. My aunt said that after they switched her diet she lost about 40 lbs right away and only weighs like 100 lbs now. She still didn't recognize me but she did talk a little more. It makes me really sad because I went to give her a hug and she kissed me and looked like she was about to cry because she knows that she SHOULD know whats going on, where she is and who everyone is but she is so lost.

It really hurts seeing her like that. I lived next door to her and my grandpa over half my life and she had always been this vibrant woman who loved going on walks with her grandkids and taking us to the park and going out to eat. Now she can't even feed herself. She thinks my grandpa just died a few months ago and he died 8 years ago. I think once he died is when her mind started going and all she says now is that she wishes God would just take her now and she doesn't understand why He keeps her around.

Thanks to everyone on here for supporting me through this. I really appreciate all the kind thoughts and words.

[John25]

My thoughts are with you, salukigirl.
Despite the very difficult situation I think your grandma has been blessed with people around her who care and love her so much, regardless the circumstances.

[BeautifullyMistaken]

Hi Salukigirl,

Sounds similar to my Grandma. She's got late stages of Alzheimer's as well. I can feel the pain you are in. I grew up with my Grandma since my mom was/is a single mom and had to work. I lived with her from 15-21. She swung on me with a knife, so the doctor said it wasn't safe her us to live together anymore. She stays with my mom while I live in her house. She doesn't recognize my Mom and I either. It's tough on the family. She was the greatest...always did everything for the family. She sometimes thinks her husband is still alive and he died about 18 years ago. When she gets in a bad mood (for a lack of better terms) she says how she wishes she was dead as well.

I really hope things get better for you and your family. I agree with John, she's so lucky to have people there despite her condition. If she were coherent, she would very much appreciate everything you guys are doing/have done. Too many times you hear about a family just 'dumping' the elderly and not giving it a second thought.

We all will be less than we were in years past as time goes by. To be affected by the changes is a testament to person and those who knew and cared about her.

[salukigirl]

Beautifully written, Byzantine.

[Martina]

My dad is in a similar place. He has Alzheimer's, and he's on puree'd foods right now, plus he's diabetic. He's still at home with my mom, she's taking care of him. I live two states away right now. It's hard to know that he's already gone mentally, but he still has to suffer and be here physically for so much longer. I honestly wish the Alzheimer's would just kill him off earlier so he didn't have to suffer so much. I hate the disease.

My daughter will probably never know her grandpa. I feel so sad for that. I always had very fond memories of my grandparents, and she will never have that.

My dad is 83, and I'm 29. Yeah, he's old!!

[salukigirl]

Martina - that's awful about your father. I always feel bad saying I wish my grandma would just pass on but at the same time she doesn't know where she is, who everyone around her is, she is lost in her own world. It doesn't seem right to keep her here wasting away, slowly dying physically when she doesn't want to live anyways. That is one thing, when my grandpa died, it was a shock to me and it hurt very bad because I didn't know it would come. But when my grandma dies I think it will be more of a sigh of relief. Like she finally doesn't have to suffer anymore.