[wizard68]

Well I just got out of yet another online relationship. I can't seem to learn that they do not work. I buy into what guys say to me and someone told me last night that I like the idea of having one and it's not real unless we meet in person. When I meet a guy online I don't realize that what they say are just words on a screen. I get wrapped up in the words and I actually believe them but in reality guys online can say anything a woman wants to hear. The last one stopped communicating with me and I kept hounding him and accused him of finding someone else. I met him on My Yearbook, which is like Facebook but it's more a dating sight I've found out. And you can give stickers to people on My Yearbook. When I checked out his profile I noticed he has all women as friends and when we first started talking he said he was a flirt and reassured me further into our relationship that I'm the only one. So last night he removed me from his friends list and sent me a message saying I'm too crazy, too insecure and he can't handle it. So here I am again trying to recover from another online relationship. My counselor told me it would not be healthy for me to be in a relationship now so now I must focus on me. I need to see that online relationships are not real.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm sorry you were hurt

[Bias Logic]

Although I am not super experienced in dating (one girlfriend), and have never dated online, I think I understand part of the appeal of dating online. When I was first dating my ex, I didn't want to call her because I was was nervous. I was much more comfortable IMing because the medium is much less personal, and has less room for embarrassment. Eventually her friend told me to stop being a wuss and just call her... and I did. It made everything else about the relationship much better because it was more personal.

Online dating seems like it has the potential to be used a sort of crutch (and I don't mean that as a slight to you in any way) because of the sort of anonymous nature of it. You are trying to be personable thru a very impersonal medium, its kinda like trying to eat cereal with a hole-less mask on. In addition it allows other people to kinda take advantage of this in a more deceptive way, as opposed to just a more comfortable medium.

I hope I kinda shed a different light on how you look at things, a different perspective always helps me. Good luck with your journey.

[Pomegranate]

I think your counselor gave you very good advice. I also think one should not "date" online. You can start to get to know someone online. But if it's turning serious at all, then phone conversations and meetings in public places should happen fairly soon. Trust, but verify. Online it's much too easy for people to pretend to be someone they are not.

[bebop]

I agree also with your counselor. but online relationships can work but you do have to meet in person. otherwise yes it is just words on a screen. people can say anything they want to and we believe them. I met my husband online almost 13 yrs ago. the reason I see "online' not working is that people never meet. it can't move forward without that. in my opinion.