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Old Jan 11, 2010, 09:20 PM
salukigirl's Avatar
salukigirl salukigirl is offline
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Location: Fayetteville, AR
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My boyfriend and I have been living together for a few months. All the money is split - we each pay for 50% of bills and split groceries too. Well lately I have noticed that, even though bills are split in half, I'm more broke now than I was when I was paying for everything myself! Then....I looked through the fridge. This man will go up and down every single isle in that damn store and get twice what is on the list we made! I have figured out that, when he goes with me, we typically end up spending twice as much. And it wouldn't be so bad if he would actually eat the extra crap he buys! I have tried telling him that he makes more than me so he can't expect me to live at his standards when I make less and if he wants it split 50/50 things have to change. But, inevitably, I just can't bring him to the store. He always gets these urges at 11 pm to run to wal-mart for something we don't even need! Even if he doesn't ask me to pay half and he pays for everything I hate watching all this stuff go to waste! I have had to throw out left-overs (all the time), whole bags of lettuce, whole packages of turkey, cheese....anything! And every time I say "you better eat this" and he says he will but never does. Even if it weren't effecting me...my parents always taught me to never get anything unless its absolutely necessary. Once bills are paid...then you can splurge a little. But he'll spend his money before he even gets paid!

I just don't get it. I normally wouldn't care but he has talked about marriage with me and wants to move to AR with me for grad school. I don't want to get married to someone who is so fiscally irresponsible. But I feel like if his parents never taught him, how am I supposed to? If he is 26 and still doesn't understand how to NOT spend money at Best Buy every single week.....how is he ever going to learn? But also, I don't want to be the nagging gf who wants to "change" him. I know it has to be a compromise but just don't know how to do it? Or even talk to him about doing it?

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  #2  
Old Jan 11, 2010, 11:36 PM
TheByzantine
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My thought is for the two of you to prepare a budget for the expenses that will be split. Each of you will know in advance the upper limit of your contribution. If either of you want something not in the budget or greater in amount than budgeted, the purchase will be at your own expense unless otherwise agreed.
  #3  
Old Jan 12, 2010, 02:01 AM
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Yoda Yoda is offline
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Is it just food that he wastes money on or other stuff too?

I would quit cleaning out the fridge. Either let him do it or do it together so he can see just how much food is wasted.

Another thing is he may need educated on the shelf life of different food items. Do you need a reference for that?
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  #4  
Old Jan 12, 2010, 02:02 AM
Yoda's Avatar
Yoda Yoda is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2006
Location: Appalachia
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Is it just food that he wastes money on or other stuff too?

I would quit cleaning out the fridge. Either let him do it or do it together so he can see just how much food is wasted.

Another thing is he may need educated on the shelf life of different food items. Do you need a reference for that?

Also making a menu will help cut back on impulse purchases.
__________________
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous
  #5  
Old Jan 12, 2010, 10:52 AM
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salukigirl salukigirl is offline
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Location: Fayetteville, AR
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I do make a budget but he doesn't. He gets money in his pocket and its like it burns a hole - he can't hold on to it. He has cleaned out the fridge before and just laughs at all the stuff we throw away. And I always go to the store with a list but he ends up just grabbing stuff. Half the time I don't notice until we're at the check out counter. He is educated on shelf life. He is pretty careful about using things past their date so I don't know why he does it.
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