[Miracle1986]

I apologize if anyone likes the game... but I just have to say... World of Warcraft is a stupid game!!!!!!

All my husband does is play it. I feel left out. Sometimes I feel like he likes the people he plays with better than me.
He spends so much time playing it and I just sit on the couch alone and loney. Which, the logical side of me knows my lonliness is silly,
because he is in the same room with me while he is playing... it's just he is ignoring me! I feel so selfish, but I miss my husband!!!
He doesn't know this, but sometimes I purposely stay in bed late so he has time to play... in the hopes that when I get up he will stop playing.
Sometimes he does, but not all the time. I don't know what to do, I want to talk to him about it, but I don't know what to say.
I mean, it's not that I want him to stop playing all together... I know he enjoys it and that is good. But sometimes I just feel like it takes up more of his life than I do.

Ugh... sorry, I will stop now. I just had to get that off my chest before I exploded. I hope I didn't ramble too much and I made at least a little bit of sense to someone.

[lynn P.]

I think you're being very reasonable and patient so far. You didn't ramble too much and I can understand how this would bother you. The trouble is those games are fun and they can be addictive. So you should tell him exactly what you told us here, in the gentle way you did - emphasizing that you don't want him to stop completely but cut down. When you think of it, things like being on the computer and video games - you're just sitting - that bad for the old body. You don't sound like a nasty complainer so just approach him nicely and get him to narrow his time playing. Good luck.

[jennaorgana]

hey girl

i started playing over winter break to appease my game-designing brother... and boy oh boy is it addicting. what i noticed is that the more i played the less i spent time with my family and friends, the same with your husband. its tough because you pay PER MONTH so if you don't put in your play time you are wasting your money.

i am totally not making excuses, at all! but it is really tough to balance your time when a game becomes such a HUGE part of your life. depending on where he is in the game, he may have dozens or even hundreds of other players depending on him. again, no excuses, but i thought maybe you'd want to know what the attraction is.

its like, WOW is his PsychCentral...

what i DO know, is once he pulls way A LITTLE he will pull back A LOT! trust me. once he breaks from the game a little bit it will be like a wave. he will stop playing as much. the only difficulty is getting him to pull back that little bit.

its nice of you to sleep in so he can get game time in..but does he know you do this?? i dont know if you have communicated your dis-ease right now, but i thin kyou should.

it must be tough trying to have your husband back, but knowing that he is happy. keep posting let me know how things are going

[raiyel]

My wife had the same problem with me for about 2 years... it's a really really addicting game... when you ask him to cut back try asking him to stick to 1 or 2 raids a week and 1 heroic a night (he'll understand what that means)... my wife did that for me, and once i cut back that little bit, i pretty much just lost interest in the game... i still play from time to time as a stress relief or just for fun, but i don't just sit there for 5 or 6 hours a night like i used to... but yes, jennaorgana is right... it's an extremely tough habit to break.

[Rhapsody]

You have spoken the words of so many wives/gf world wide that have a significant other that plays video games... I too feel lost, alone and forgotten when my husband plays -

If is as though he is in his own little world and refuses to come out for even a little hi or chat with his supposedly beloved wife. I too play (as do my sons) but I find that I can leave the game when I am needed where as the men in my life act of though it is a matter of life or death... and they will die if they talk or pause the game during play.

[Rhapsody]

P.S.

Originally Posted by Miracle1986

But sometimes I just feel like it takes up more of his life than I do.

I have felt like this most of the last twenty years of my twenty-four year marriage... what is it about husbands that they often find it so easy to replace us with other activities after they catch us - marry us - have us as their own?

[bonaire]

Originally Posted by Rhapsody

P.S.
I have felt like this most of the last twenty years of my twenty-four year marriage... what is it about husbands that they often find it so easy to replace us with other activities after they catch us - marry us - have us as their own?

My kids played it for a while but we weened them off of it (they call it WoW for short). My wife has gotten into Facebook games and that takes up most of the time she is on the computer. She says it is for the social environment of chatting with others worldwide while playing. My son also is now addicted to Second Life and I'm going to look into what's going on there too.

I spend my day on the comptuer - but it's for work. I have to be involved in customer issues, fixing problems, doing customer conference calls and so on - and I work from home. I may be part of the "enabling" since they see me online and use that as a way "grown up people are".

So, I think we need to grab these horses by the reins and do others things with them. Invite them out to do "real" things rather than simulated-world things. WoW, Facebook, Second Life - they are computer-housed "worlds" that are realistic to some degree in terms of offering "easy" social environments. You don't have to get dressed up and "go out" to a social setting - it's as easy as rolling up a chair to a desk and there you are. I also look at them as "fantasy" and "daytime dreams" because they are not natural environments that people have lived in for centuries. In other words - they are relationships that take no work. People take the easy way out and rather than spend time with loved-ones talking and living - they go into a fantasy world where it's easier and no judgements occur. People would spend less time online if we had to endure the emotions and feedback that real life offers.

In the real world - you cannot just get up and walk over to your neighbors house and hang out without judgement (not entirely socially acceptable unless great friends). But in fantasy worlds, you are "in there" right away without any real effort at all. Life now has three states - sleep, online and awake.

Gotta go - my 14 son just woke up and walked over to the computer and turned it on and I have to be that he's going right into Second Life...