[marjan]

I do things and say things that I know they will put me in trouble and I still do it!
It's like Mr. Hide and Mr. Jakie! It's some monsters inside me....I hate that....
I added Kevin into my facebook and he added me back, but I can't even read his wall....It made me so upset and I emailed him back right away that wow...I can't even see your wall? you put privacy on me...OMG!" and now I feel bad about it....I know other friends say that they couldn't see his wall and he told me that he is not active on FB....why should I say something to make things bad? I don't know how he will react to it? and why should I be afraid of his reactions? what are all these feelings? again? feeling of losing him? or do I try to be so perfect and that is not possible?
Also, last night my dance teacher asked me if I can invite some of my girlfriends to the party, and right away I told her, "you should ask Aaron....he knows a lot of girl...no matter why he's alone!"
OMG....now I feel so ashamed...It's none of my business that he knows lots of woman and whatever he wants to do...although, he hurt me so much....but it's his life and I'm out of it....I don't know why I can't stop myself for being so impulsive!
This is really sad

[lynn P.]

I can't remember if Kevin is your new BF or ex BF. Old patterns are hard to break sometimes, so don't be too hard on yourself. I still think you're doing well ((Marjan)).

[marjan]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

I can't remember if Kevin is your new BF or ex BF. Old patterns are hard to break sometimes, so don't be too hard on yourself. I still think you're doing well ((Marjan)).

Thanks Lynn....Kevin is the new one....
yes, you are right...it's hard to override the old patterns....
well...He emailed me back laughing that He doesn't have a wall (I mean on his facebook!)....but that sounds so weird....then what's the point of having FB? to just check on people?