letting go..

I am a 21 year old woman who is going to college I will be graduating in 2011, I have a 2 year old son with my on and off again boyfriend of 4 years. We been through alot of things, but I know the relationship is not good for me and I can do a lot better and deserve better. I honestly dont know how to let this go I love him but I dont see myself with him you know. Im a little scared if Im not with him that he wont be in our son life as much as he is now.

Sometimes you have to weigh the pros and cons. Hang in there and keep posting.

Don't stay in a relationship where you are unhappy just for your son's sake. Seeing his mom happy is far healthier for him than just having both parents around for the sake of having both parents around. If he's a good father he will continue to be in your son's life, regardless of whether you are together or not.

Thanks...Everything yall said I always think about I always tell myself that and I even explain that to my boyfriend. But its so hard to let everything go...its like I dont want him to be wiIth anyone until I move on...I dont know I know eventually he will change or Im gone

if you 2 are unhappy, then the child will be unhappy. that is what happened in my case

Why would you want to stay in an unhealthy relationship? Are you trying to avoid the pain of the grieving process? Waiting for him to change will just prolong the pain. And then you will still have to go through the grieving process. If you move onto your next relationship without going through the grieving process, you bring old baggage into your new relationship and that won't work. Change and growth are part of the recovery process and they are both painful to go through, the only way out is through. We can help you through but we cannot help you avoid. It will keep coming at you until you face this.

Yes, Nucking Futz hit it home, you only way out is through. We can help you through but we cannot help you avoid. It will keep coming at you until you face this. Knowing that you have a son, there's nothing more important than having him having the right support. But how about you, where is your support. In this case, I believe you should stay in the relationship and get him to change but if he refuses change them you can leave him, because the child is going to want to be with his real father. But if his father is not the man you should actually be with him, you and son deserve better

Yes, the only way is through. Go away from him and protect your son.