[adman]

Tonight my girlfriend was over at my house she said she was tired so she went home, so i sent her a text message like we all ways do, but she didn't reply this time i didn't think anything of it, i just gave it some time thinking ill get a reply but i didn't so i sent one more still nothing, so i thought to myself there's no harm in going to see if she accually went home, she didn't!, i didn't know what to do so i started to go home, then i heard a car coming it was her, so i sent her a msg saying that she lied to me and asking where she had been, she gave me a story that i don't really believe.
i don't know how to address this issue with out making things worse, im only 21 she's 18, i really believe i love this girl.

[A_Long_ways]

Well, I guess it really comes down to do you believe her or not? If you don't believe her, then you don't trust her, and trying to build a relationship without trust is quite difficult. Sometimes our minds have a tendancy to think of the worst possibilities for any situation. The fact that you drove over to her house kinda shows you don't trust her. Maybe she just went over to a friends house for a few minutes? Maybe she stopped at a store to pick something up? She's entitled to stop somewhere on her way home if she wants to. Don't read too much into it unless you really feel like something wrong is going on. You're going to make yourself crazy thinking of all of the bad things she could have done, when it was most likely something completely innocent. Not to mention she is going to feel like you don't trust her at all if she can't even make a stop on her way home without you accusing her of lying to you. Try to take it a bit easy, unless you really truely believe something is going on. And if that's how you feel, confront her on it, but only if you are very sure of your accusation.

[salukigirl]

What was the story she gave that didn't sound believable? I have learned to not always think the worst. Because whenever I feel like something is wrong and I go snooping or asking what's up it turns out that he was being secretive because he was trying to do something nice for me. Like the other night my bf went to the store and was gone way longer than he should have been. So I started to get nervous thinking he wasn't really going to the store. He comes back and has a bouquet of flowers and that's why he was gone so long.

How long have you guys been together? Has she ever done anything to break your trust before? I think if she has never given you any reason to break your trust then driving to her house was a little overboard. And I think if my bf had followed me to see what I was doing I wouldn't tell him even if it was completely innocent just because I would think "you don't trust me anyways". If you openly show that you don't trust her then she probably feels like you're accusing her of something for simply not responding to a text. You need to bring it up in a non-threatening and non-accusatory way. She will be much more likely to open up about what was going on if she feels like you're concerned about HER rather than yourself. If you say that you're worried about her well being rather than whether she was sneaking around behind your back, she's going to be more open with you. But then again, that's not the truth so.....