[stieg]

I've read many and many threads in this forum about bad from worse to even catastrophic relationships. I've been in some bad relationships but after years and years being single and trying to get back to the dating game which has become a procastination era i don't know if i should get back to dating or maybe remain single to avoid problems. But honestly loneliness is making my life boring. Confused and don't know what to do.

[Belle1979]

I think that you have to give it a go. I'm in the dating scene again - it's weird, scary and can be terrible but I've also met some brilliant people that will be friends for life. Haven't found the 'one' but it's better than staying at home wondering what life could be like.
I've had wonderful relationships that have ended in terrible ways... I don't understand it and I possibly have trust issues related to it but I still think it's worth getting out there and trying new things.

[marjan]

I think you should be hopeful and not stop searching for love.....I'm still looking....yes, it's sucks getting in the relationship and breaking up....but I'm still hopeful....I know how it feels to be in love, because I've been in love but unfortunately, we couldn't stay together......well....I'm still searching....you should do that too....don't give up!

[NuckingFutz]

I hear you. At one point after I lost "the one" to heaven I figured that was it. Got a couple of cats and proceeded to become a cat lady. Just when it is darkest things get brighter. You are still in one piece, you feel cracke. You have so much to give. Please hang in there Shezbut. Hugs for you.

[flora_poste]

I know the feeling! It really is all about having the confidence enough to love yourself first. If you don't love yourself, your standards are going to be lower. your standards are lower, you're going to end up in crap situations.
Ive been through dozens of people over the past few years, but I've noticed that the more my confidence grows, the less I even feel the need for someone else. After my last relationship, which was my 1st ever good experience, I vowed to myself I'd never settle for less again. I'm celibate, and I'm ok with that. The other key is having good friends in your life to buffer the loneliness.

[firstmate]

I don't remember who said it, but the thought that came to mind was "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved."

For a long time I thought I would be alone forever. When I stopped worrying about it and just made new friends - potential mates and others - the lonelyness went away and eventually I found someone who I could share every part of my life with, almost by accident.

Go out and have (safe) fun and the rest will come when the time is right.

[dyzan]

Originally Posted by firstmate

I don't remember who said it, but the thought that came to mind was "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved."

For a long time I thought I would be alone forever. When I stopped worrying about it and just made new friends - potential mates and others - the lonelyness went away and eventually I found someone who I could share every part of my life with, almost by accident.

Go out and have (safe) fun and the rest will come when the time is right.

Firstmate,
From the "Better to have Loved,"
to the "when the time is right",
the essence of your reply, is truth in the, "and they lived happily ever after."

Great Reply!
dyzan.
~waves~

[bonaire]

Maybe this.

Better off with Boundaries. Better off Selective.

It's a matter of principal really. You must love yourself most of all, then allow others to love you at least that much. Otherwise, it's not as good as it could be. Entertain others but always be paying attention to whether they are right for you and good for you. And you must not regret when you use your skills of selectivity and boundary control to your own advantage - and that advantage is for your own protection and growth.

Have fun with life but only become intimate (mind and body) with those who deserve it.