leaving & scared

I'm here today because I'm feeling a little uneasy. I have been in off and on relationship for 10 yrs and I'm getting ready to leave and that means going to shelter. I gave up everything for this guy so that leaves me with nothing when I leave no job, money,home,friends...I moved 3000 miles away from everything familiar.I do however have my 3 kids one who lives with me and the others are on their own
sometimes I wonder if it is me because he always seems to make me think it is. However, I don't feel he is innocent in all this. A few things that totally gets me is
when we have fights he will go up to his parents house ( nextdoor) and laughs and has dinner or whatever with his parents , sister & her single female roomate. we have talked about this and I told him that when we argue he needs to stay here and work it out with me because it only makes me uncomfortable when he leaves me upset to go up there. He doesn't like it when I have my 10 month old grandson over and always complains about how I run to him at every whimper. ( he doesn't have children ) . All we do is work around the house on his days off ..10 yrs and we have never went on vacation or anything -unless you would consider Walmart or Lowes as a vacation ( smiles )...anyways, I have realized that he doesn't want a relationship he wants someone to clean his house, laundry,cook, and accept that I will always come last. sooo I am leaving. I do have children here and they are against me leaving to go to shelter but they don't realize how hard it is to live with a man who never returns the love I give him. NOW, when I'm gone this is usually what happens. 2 weeks and then he starts calling, writing letters to me telling me how much he loves me .just enough to convince me to come back only to go back the way it was before I left. he does nothing with my 16 yr old son but if he knows I'm planning on leaving he will all of a sudden become supper step - dad. I am feeling very sad because I have to leave because I love him the problem is he only loves me for what I do for him. I'm thinking this time he might not try to contact me because he is getting pretty chummy with the sister's single roomate. as hard as that will be for me I know a leopard doesn't change his spots and it will be no time before he treats her the same way. nice guy and all , looking from the outside people think he is great ! but the truth is he is as long as u follow the rules around here and don't rock the boat. As you can see I'm confused , I wish I didn't love him so much. just needed to get this off my chest because I'm really sad right now..thanks , lostnbigcity

Hello, lostnbigcity. Good luck with getting away from the manipulation and onto a better life for you and your child. Stay strong.

Pax vobiscum.

I wish you well. Keep positive and remain strong. Sometimes love isn't enough, especially when it is one sided and people can't really change who they are deep down inside.

Good thoughts all around. Hope everything works out for the best; I'm sure it will. I know it is scary but it will get better. I promise.