[JakeSim]

I am currently in a high school relationship and lately I have been feeling questionable about my relationship. The first day after I asked her out I was asking myself if I even wanted to be in a relationship. The day after I was fine however and really wanted to be. I just want to state that I have anxiety and OCD and I overthought every little detail in my relationship. I have cut down a bit on that though.

Now I feel like I just like this girl, but not "like like" but at the same time I can't tell my true feelings. Now what I mean by feeling selfish is that I am constantly thinking about what other girls are like and other relationships and I even say to myself that I can get a better looking girl. But at the same time I want a girl with a great personality and is actually liked by others. The girl in currently going out with is awesome, she's nice, she's smart, she absolutely likes me, I can talk to her, I am most comfortable around her, she has goals, she even goes through my anxiety attacks and obsessions with me. I say to myself "would most girls go through this with me and have a amazing personality like her?" That right there is something I don't want to lose but lately I feel like I am..

Maybe I'm losing the excitement because we have a same schedule every day pretty much. Every weekday is the same thing. I go out with her once a weekend because she can only go out once a week because she has 8 siblings. Sometimes I just feel like I don't care at all anymore and want to see other people but at the same time I don't.

How can I get this to work? Please help!

What is not working?

[JakeSim]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

What is not working?

I don't know what's working, the relationship maybe? I honestly can't tell. I feel like I miss her but I don't want to talk to her. I don't get it.

[Tatyana2009]

I think you are being very honest. Its not uncommon for teenagers to experience what you are experiencing. And the questions you ask yourself are smart and important.

It could be that your anxiety and OCD make this harder. But at least you are aware of this.

She sounds to me like a great girl and from what you wrote I can see you really care about her. I wonder whether on a deeper level you are scared to loose her? scared to be close and rely on her and then she will be gone? feel vulnerable and dependent on someone can be scary...

I think you can always find someone more good looking, more accepted by your friends, more charming, more clever. But - the question is - what do you feel about her? Its not enough in my opinion to admire someone for their qualities and think 'ho, this is a nice girl who cares for me', the crucial point is - how do you feel about this girl? do you really care about her? are you in love with her? do you feel you want to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with her? If you do - then who cares about all the other girls who may be more clever or beautiful?? get my drift?

[JakeSim]

Originally Posted by Tatyana2009

I think you are being very honest. Its not uncommon for teenagers to experience what you are experiencing. And the questions you ask yourself are smart and important.

It could be that your anxiety and OCD make this harder. But at least you are aware of this.

She sounds to me like a great girl and from what you wrote I can see you really care about her. I wonder whether on a deeper level you are scared to loose her? scared to be close and rely on her and then she will be gone? feel vulnerable and dependent on someone can be scary...

I think you can always find someone more good looking, more accepted by your friends, more charming, more clever. But - the question is - what do you feel about her? Its not enough in my opinion to admire someone for their qualities and think 'ho, this is a nice girl who cares for me', the crucial point is - how do you feel about this girl? do you really care about her? are you in love with her? do you feel you want to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with her? If you do - then who cares about all the other girls who may be more clever or beautiful?? get my drift?

I'm kind of confused, maybe some of this stuff is caused from depression/anxiety?

[lovelylovely]

Like what tatyana said, if you love her qualities but just dont feel 'love' then its more of a close friendship and there's nothing wrong with that. You are obviously doubting things or you would'nt be writing about them here. Can you see a future with this girl, does she fulfill your emotional, physical needs. Does she make your heart flutter? Its easy to blame yourself and your psychological disorder but that doesn't mean you are mixed in your genuine attraction to this girl.

[Rhapsody]

Based on your other thread I do not think you are ready to commit to a single girl at this time in your life... hence why the relationship is probably not working for you.

[Envision]

What's wrong with just being friends? Nothing. Do the positives of being with her outweigh the other things you think about her? The harsh reality is that relationships never get "easy". There is no book of right and wrong, no checklist to follow, no green light that comes on to tell us that "this" is the right person. With experience though, you will develop a feeling for what's working for you and what isn't. Try being the best friend you can to her. With 8 siblings, I bet she needs it and it will give you both a chance to get to know each other better without the pressure of trying to make something happen. This can be a win-win scenario no matter what you two decide to do, keep a positive attitude about it the best you can.