Our problems are ruining my mood for the whole day..

My boyfriend and I have been having problems, and basically the biggest problem is that he wants to be with me for now, but once we get to college he wants to stop trying and break up. But I don't want to be with him if he doesn't want to be with me, I want something that's going to last. That makes me want to break up with him.
Anyway, the biggest thing is that all this is ruining my mood for the rest of the day... I don't want to talk to anybody, although I try to force myself. I don't want to do my work, which makes everything difficult. I don't want to move, but I am forced to.
I know problems are a normal thing in a relationship, and I also know that it's normal to feel crappy about an argument. But what doesn't seem normal is the extent of my negative mood for the day. I don't like being this distant person. I really just don't know what to do.

Hi HZ3006,

I'm sorry if I missed it, but what makes you think that your boyfriend only wants to be together until high school is over? Have you discussed it and he said those words, or are you assuming?

Sometimes we assume things. We are quite often wrong when we make assumptions. That is a fact of life. Perhaps this is the position you are in right now. If so, sit down and talk with your boyfriend to relieve your worries.

If you and your boyfriend have openly discussed plans after high school, and your belief is fact, it's a matter of acceptance. You do have decisions to make. It is your decision whether or not you want to be with him now, but not later. You also have a decision to make on what kind of relationship you are comfortable with. Maybe you should break up, but remain friends. Maybe you should completely break free. Maybe you should stay together, and love each other until the end. Those are decisions for you both to make.

I really don't find your Q's and emotions weird or unsual ~ you have every right to feel the way that you do. Your emotions are valid. That said, your emotions don't need to rule every decision that you make in your life. Use the emotions to your advantage, to help guide you to understand what is actually important to you. From there, use your wisdom to get through the problem with as little complication (bad feelings) as possible.

Best wishes and to you!

Yes, actually, he even said those exact words.
Thank you for being helpful. I still wish someone would just say "you should do it this way because of this reason," but I know that wouldn't help me, either.

HZ3006,

No-one can tell you what decision to make about your boyfriend. That is part of the beauty and difficulty of being an adult.

He is probably saying this so that you both go to college open to the possibility of meeting someone who may be a better fit for you. You say that you want a long-term relationship and he may sense that and realize that your partnership is not suited to a long-term pairing.

I know it is hard, but could you enjoy his companionship and friendship now and part on good terms in the fall? As he matures, your friendship may change again and become more what you are looking for in your life. It will also leave you available to meet new people at college if that is your desire.

Most people have a lot of decisions to make their last year in high school. Do you have someone that you can talk to about things?

How long have you been seeing each other? Sounds like maybe you finishing up High School, if so, that's a tough time like mentioned earlier to make any long range decisions. Do you feel this has potential? Or do you feel it may just be right for right now and your b/f is trying to keep you until he has a opportunity to play the field. If he said he really wants to stop trying at college, is he hinting that he wants to break up now or is he testing the waters to see what you want. At your guys young age, emotions are high, relationship experience is usually low and communicating at any age is a art form. Talk, talk, talk. Ask every question you have in your mind, then ask why in more detail. This is an important point in your life, going to college, resolve this and get started on the right path.

Actually about a week before he told me that he wanted to break up when we go to college i told my friend that i could see us getting married one day, so i thought it would definitely have potential.
And i said that if he wanted this i just thought maybe we should break up now but he said he didn't want that.
I have questions, but he just keeps telling me the same things, and sometimes idk what to ask even.

In my opinion...I think this is unfair to you...if you feel that you want a long term thing and he doesn't...he is not meeting your needs...so what iss topping you from leaving him if he decided he wants to leave you in highschool...yes it is a confusing time...and amybe at this point it would best to break thigns off...so that it is not as painful when you leave highschool...try dating around...and try meeting new people...if you were meant to be together...you guys would come back together...if not...there is someone out there better suited for you or him...I feel its unfair because it seems as though he is hanging on to you as a security blanket until college begins. you deserve better than that.

I want this to work out for you but based on what you've said, but what a deal for him this is if you go along with this. He gets the benefits of dating you, has already told you he's leaving, and emotionally he'll be ready for new girls when he gets to college and you'll be wondering why he didn't change his mind at the last minute. Someone here will really be getting the short end of the stick. Care to guess who?