Race

Why is it so difficult for people to discuss the issue of race?

I'm sick and tired of the overt and covert hatred, oppression and discrimination - and all the excuses and euphemisms infuriate me. I'm a white woman. When people know nothing about me behind closed doors, they assume it's okay to insult my family and call them derogatory names. I can't tell you how many times I've been forced to listen to their disgusting jokes. If they do know about my family, they use euphemisms and skirt around the subject. I still hear the jokes, but they assure me it was "just a joke" - why do I never find them funny?

http://www.myfoxchicago.com/dpp/news/metro/20100315-raciially-charged-yard-art-investigation-urged

I volunteered years ago with the Chgo. Commission on Human Relations, Unity in Diversity Task Force. I sat in on town hall meetings in Mt. Greenwood hosted and moderated by the commission to specifically address the hate crimes and rampant racism.

They absolutely refused to discuss race. They only discussed the need for more lighting and security. It was getting ridiculous and we were running out of time, so I opened my mouth and said "I think hatred and racism is based on fear."

You should have seen the glares I received. Every single one of them whipped their heads around with fire in their eyes. One man had the courage to speak to me. He gave me his meanest look and yelled "WHO ARE YOU, WHY ARE YOU HERE, AND WHERE DO YOU COME FROM!?!"

At the Oscars recently, a black man got "Kanyed" by his fellow producer after the two won an award for a documentary.

I watched the woman defend herself on the Joy Behar Show. She said she hogged the microphone because he was rude for making it all about himself when it should have been about the film. She wasn't rude for snatching that mic out of his hand and underhandedly scolding him?? She couldn't have worked it out ahead of time with him on how to share their time on stage??

She went on to say she had many supporters. She said so many people came up to her afterwards to thank her for putting that "rude boy" in his place. I can almost guarantee you they did not call that man a "RUDE BOY" - they used another well-known term for black people.

She never mentioned the film or the star of the documentary on the Joy Behar Show - it was all about HER that night - so who is the RUDE one here?

I'm watching the new breed of Tea Party/anti-government protesters. They are all white - or pass for white. They have a million excuses, but they can't seem to draw any black (or other color) support - much less any support from the Muslim community. Why is that?

It's not just a Chicago problem - it's nationwide.

I would greatly appreciate your open and honest input - and please be respectful of each other's opinions.

How do we heal this massive racial wound and move forward in a truthful way?

As long as there is a political advantage to stereotyping, racism will continue. There is no honor in politics (if there ever was). People get told what they want to hear, and the truth be damned. The best interests of the party has long ago supplanted the best interests of the people.

What is particularly onerous is seeing people voting for policies that hurt them out of loyalty to a party. Too many want someone else to think for them, or simply do not care at all.

Our political system is a disgrace.

Thank you Byzantine

I don't think we can blame this all on politics. From my own experience, the people (young and old) who have attacked us have no interest in politics. The hatred has heightened only because we have a black president. When people say it has nothing to do with that, I'd like to know how many black bosses they've had in the past and how hard did they work for their black leader/boss. When I've asked men (and women) on the street if they'd ever work for a black person, oftentimes their response would be "over my dead body." The same goes for other persons of color.

When I was a little girl in the '60s and questioned teachers and religious leaders about the Civil Rights Movement and MLK, they told me black people were "substandard human beings - more like monkeys - and incapable of learning." Obviously that isn't true - so why do so many people keep depicting our President and First Lady as gorillas and chimps?

I heard on the news this morning someone grabbed a phone at a Walmart in NJ and announced to the shoppers "Attention: All black people leave the store now." Was THAT supposed to be funny?

Kathy do you see the term “Kanyed” as a racial slur?! I know we rarely see eye to eye, but I find Kanye West to be a rude @sshole. This judgment has nothing to do with his race. He says the most ridiculous things without regard of consequence and is intentionally offensive (he’s admitted this himself). Are we, as a society, to ignore his behavior because he’s black? Isn’t that racism?

AAAAA - Not really because he acted like a total jerk that night. Once he became famous, he was surrounded by "yes men" so he got used to saying and doing anything he wanted. Acting like a bully and jackass or spoiled princess is trendy these days. He probably thought he had to kick it up a notch on the Outrageous Scale in order to maintain his "tough guy" rapper image.

However, he's still reeling from the sudden death of his mother after her plastic surgery. She was the only person he ever had in his life. He grew up surrounded by hatred, discrimination and oppression. I know because he's from my part of town. My son experienced the same thing.

Also, he was NOT left off the hook. People.com has officially dubbed him the "King of Fail."

I'd like to interview that woman myself and ask her to elaborate further on the reason for her rude behavior the night of the Oscars. Shall we dub her the "Queen of Fail?"

The music awards was not the first time he pulled that crap. He did it at a benefit for the victims of Katrina as well (I happened to agree with his opinion in that case, but it was neither the time nor the place to incite). We’ve all experienced horrible things in our life. This does not give us license to do whatever we want. Rationalizing his behavior in any way is not only irresponsible, but it gives him the power to continue to spew his ignorance. My final straw with Mr. West came with his comments on reading. So many young people do look up to him. How many parents and educators had to deal with the repercussions of that comment? I’m sure his mother, a very educated woman and a Dr. of English if I’m not mistaken, must surely have rolled over in his grave when he released that statement.

I am truly sorry that you have had the experience of meeting so many idiots in your life. Unfortunately they breed and pass that ignorance on to their children. Remove these people from your life! You are not going to change their mind. You don’t have to sit quietly by while they make comments.

In my opinion, racism is simply wanted ignorance. How do you enlighten people that have no desire to see logic?

Yeah, that was my original question - How does this country heal from this massive wound?

We could dissect the behavior of Paris Hilton and Heidi Montag too, but my thread isn't about specific people or their personal problems. It's about the rampant racism that keeps us all stuck in the moment.

Another example was on Fox News recently when Brett Baier interviewed President Obama. He asked a question then rudely interrupted him 16 times! He didn't even have the decency to allow our Commander in Chief to finish his sentence. We all know he would not have done that with any other president.

I had so much hope back in the 60s when laws were passed in an attempt to prevent hate crimes and educate the public. Why are we all still so ignorant, why do we refuse to see the logic, and why do people insist on pouring salt on this massive wound?

I honestly do not think that this problem can be solved with the current outlook. It’s my opinion that we’re all at fault. In many of my threads you have picked up on a statement and made the assumption that it was somehow racially or culturally motivated. While I fully understand where you’re coming from, that’s part of the problem. It perpetuates hate and discontent. It infers racism where there is none. If all you’re looking for is garbage, garbage is all you’re going to find.

I cannot comment what happened in that particular interview with the president because Fox news is notoriously unreliable and unprofessional. After 9-11, co-workers would come to work daily with these outlandish tales that they’d seen on the “news”. I was flipping constantly between NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, and MSNBC. I had not heard anything even remotely similar. I finally asked “where are you getting this from.” So I tuned in for a few days. None of their outlandish stories panned out nor did they retract them or give any sort of explanation the next day. They have shocking stories to be sure, but hardly a source of reliable information. I rate them right up there with the public access programs on here that declare you cannot give birth in the hospital because they’re implanting computer chips in the baby’s head.

But famous people do have an impact on the way our society views things. And the more outlandish and rude a person is, the more press they get. How do you think today’s society would receive MLK and his message for the first time? Who would get more press? Martin or Malcom?

Our world has evolved since the time of Martin and Malcom, and the pressure has increased. Holding peaceful protests are mere social gatherings these days - the message gets lost in someone's inbox, never to be read. Holding rude and outlandish protests are the same - but the underlying message could and will lead us into a civil war.

Again, this is nothing personal. It's not about specific people, and I hold no ill will towards you. This is about our national relationship. When I mention specifics, it's only to give an example.

In the late 70s, early 80s I had great hopes our new Civil Rights laws would give people the opportunity to learn the lesson that people of color are equal human beings and can do more than act as our servants, slaves, and punching bags.

Ignoring the problem or won't make it go away. Saying white people have the same history and problems does nothing to heal the wound. Pointing out one or two successful people of color is just window dressing.

Example: When I told a friend about my son being harassed by the local police when he was a teenager, she told me her white teenaged daughter had the same problem. When I worked at an "equal opportunity" large corporation, they only had a select few people of color in management positions. There was only one in an executive position, but not at the top level - he may have been labeled an executive, but he was treated like a servant, slave and punching bag. He was often late for work because the police would stop him to make sure his luxury car wasn't stolen and ask him what he was doing in their part of town.

I appreciate your input. Would anyone else like to jump in with some ideas on how to resolve the issues and heal the wounds?

Perhaps your friends daughter was having the same problems ? I know in London my son is stopped continually by the police on stop and search. He is white and aged 21.

I come from London and it is very multi cultural with very little racist attitudes.

If anything its going the other way in protecting people if they are not white and coming down really hard on the white youths especially in the schools.

My son is black - her daughter is white. With all due respect, how could they possibly have the same history and problem with regard to their skin color?

That was a rhetorical question - there's no need to explain or justify my friend's response.

I would make the same comment to you about my son who is white. He is stopped as I stated just under the remark you quoted all the time by the police.

Please, Tishie - this thread is not about specific people and circumstances.

I'm looking for ideas on how to heal the continued hatred, discrimination, and oppression against people of color that has plagued our nation.

Would anyone else care to offer an idea?

Oops I guess I have been dismissed ....

My view of Great Britain is quite different. Everyone has a label and there seems to be almost a caste system. If you live on one side of a street you are one thing and on the other another thing. The talk may be proper but one soon learns how firmly the stereotyping is ensconced in everyday life.

((Tishie))

You have NOT been dismissed. I'd like to hear your ideas on how we can resolve this issue and heal this wound if you'd like to share. I'm not forcing you though.

Kathy I was yanking your chain to lighten the mood a little ! I guess I failed lol sorry....

I'm specifically referring to the United States in this thread and looking for ideas on how to heal our racial hatred. Do you have any ideas?

Kathy this is where you and I divide. I think the ONLY way we’ll be able to fix this problem is to follow Martin’s teachings. Violence, hate and discontent only beget the same. He had it right. It makes me very sad that he wasn’t able to continue with his work. Humanity lost a lot on April 4, 1968. We celebrate his birthday, but ignore his message.

We need to LEARN from history and correct those mistakes. It only turns people off to be blamed for something they had NO control over. Every single culture in the world has committed horrible acts; America is not unique in this. I cannot change the past; I can only educate my children so that they will never partake in this type of behavior and stand up if/when they see it and say “I will not tolerate this.”

In my opinion, until we can let go of the resentment from the past we cannot move forward. I’m not saying forget or even forgive, but to judge for yourself from this second on. If/when discrimination and racism occurs SCREAM it from the mountain tops, hold people accountable.

I absolutely agree with you. I'm not referring to the hatred of the past. I'm referring to the hatred and bigotry I'm watching today. Lecturing people about MLK hasn't worked. Passing Civil Rights laws hasn't worked. Killing each other hasn't worked. Sweeping it under the rug doesn't work. Skirting the issue with lies and deception doesn't work.

Example: In today's news, a high school teacher in Rhode Island hung an effigy of President Obama upside down in his classroom. He was fired as punishment. Another "isolated incident." How do we prevent things like this from happening again, and again, and again?

Bigots refuse to LEARN. How do you make them learn? You can't hear me SCREAMING from the mountain top here? I can't do this all by myself.

There are always going to be stupid people, if you’re trying to change that, good luck. In the privacy of their own homes people are free to be as stupid as they want.

My stance on race, religion, culture, and sexual orientation is this: if you want to deprive yourself by being ignorant go ahead, you’re not hurting anyone but yourself. BUT, you WILL treat EVERYONE with dignity and courtesy in public.

I was reluctant to contribute to this thread because I haven't been particularly thrilled with some of the opinions, or rather, the way the opinions have been portrayed here. But, I do feel I have something to add to a situation where everyone appears to only be focusing on the negative. I live in Mississippi. I am white. My husband is black. My husband happens to be in a career where he interacts a great deal with society all over the state and he is incredibly well respected. I believe if it weren't for this, we would receive a lot more flack about our relationship than we do now. As it is, we often find people, especially older adults, staring us down, saying things that we "aren't supposed" to hear, are blatantly hostile towards us...I mean nearly every time we go out. Of course, this only happens with the people he doesn't know. We've never felt a single bit of disdain from people who know him. This is due, in part, to him working at a large university where the population is very ethnically diverse. Anyway, I say this to illustrate my inside experience of racism in an area of the country that is possibly the most racist.

Anyway, I have also had the opportunity to teach here in the public schools, k-3rd grade (I quit about 2 years ago). Anyway, the public schools are about 60% African American, 30% white, and the other 10% is really diverse because of the University. These kids don't care AT ALL about anyone's race. I realize they are young, but I have never, ever seen or heard the slightest negatively racist thing between these little people. When I was in school, black people and white people, while always friendly, were always very clearly separated...don't know why, but its how it was. But with these kids, you will be hard pressed to ever find a group that is just white kids or just black kids. They have kid arguments and fusses, but it is never anything other than stupid kid stuff. Anyway, I have found great hope in these kids. They do not care at all what race their friend is. The play and share and just love each other the way kids do.

I guess that's all I wanted to add. So as bad as it may seem to everyone all the time, these kids are going to grow up and hopefully they will remain so open and good to each other. Its slow coming, but I do believe that things are changing.

The children are the hope for our future. They’re very intelligent complex creatures. My niece was adopted as an infant from China. My SIL and her husband have taken her to Mandarin classes, different Chinese festivals and classes to embrace her birth heritage.

When she was 4 or 5 the summer Olympics were held in China. She shrieked with delight “Mommy, mommy look at all those girls that look like me!” When the gymnastics portion was broadcast, my niece exclaimed with the utmost certainty “The girls that look like me are much better at this than the rest, why do they even try?” and decided she was going to be a gymnast (her current goal is to be a Jedi Knight, what can I say, her parents are geeks).

SIL lives in Chicago and specifically sought out a culturally diverse nursery school. My niece prefers to play with the other little girls that “look like her”. Is this wrong? She is not unkind to the other children, she just prefers to socialize with other Asian girls (boys, other than her brother and cousins are “icky”).

I think that's a wonderful story AAAAA. I can most definitely see why she would chose Asian children to play with, especially because we do not have a significant Asian population in America. Its got to be similar to hanging out with the "geeks" at your school because you feel you have more in "common" with them. Its definitely not wrong. I was just pointing out how wonderful these kids are, considering they mostly come from homes that have, at least, racist grandparents (black and white), that they DON'T CARE!!! That's what's awesome.

Her “instincts” just struck me as astounding. She’d been with my SIL and hubby since she was a few months old. Our family is very racially diverse so she grew up seeing people come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. She’s very shy to strangers, but at 2 ½ years old she somehow zeroed in on another Asian girl… within seconds of being at the nursery school. At the time they (parents and teacher) thought it was because she’s tiny and the other girl was less intimidating because she too was small.

Then the Olympics (and a couple more years) gave her the opportunity to verbalize more. I don’t know if she’s feeling different (her younger brother was adopted from Twain) and needs to feel some form of connection. Her parents are very attentive and loving. It’ll take someone smarter than I to figure it out.

Young children see things with such an untainted eye. When my twins were about 2, I was moving a huge mirror (kind that goes on the back of a dresser). My older twin pointed and said “brother”. I propped the mirror against the wall and said “no, this is Matthew.” He was so frustrated, he pointed to the picture on the dresser of himself and said “Matthew” and back at the mirror and said “brother”. It turns out he was right. They are mirror image twins. The image he saw in the mirror looked like his brother, not himself. HOW did he figure that out?

Sorry, off topic, but children are amazing.