[WindGuru]

Note: my partner (I use this in a non-sexual, non-romantic sense, more similar to sister than anything else) has ended a five year relationship. Whilst it was going our friendship was as strong as family. We spoke every day for hours and hours, and I would have gladly laid my life down for her, but I have caused problems in our relationship by being too reliant on her.

Anyway, this is over now.

What worries me is that I don't feel quite the same spark as I did when I first met her, when I talk to other new people. With this woman I literally knew within five minutes of talking to her that she would be an amazing friend. I was bouncing off the walls and went to bed with a vast grin on my face, as did she. I've met other nice people, but I just haven't felt the same around them. Perhaps it's because, for better or worse, I've grown up and I no longer feel the same childlike attraction towards people. Maybe it's just that I haven't really met anyone great for me recently.

I'm not sure whether to like it, or what to do, but I do feel as if the "spark" that sustained me in friendships has gone recently. I still love my friends, but it doesn't feel quite as...whole, as it did with Girl A. It's a similar case with my work recently, which I've always loved, but in the last year I've fallen out of love with. It's still fun, but I don't love it as I did.

I feel like I'm lying to my friends when I say I care about them. I imagine I DO, but it's difficult to know. Girl A outrightly told me in an angry rant that my "current behaviour proves I've never loved anyone", which is a load of bollocks, but...I don't know. Describing love is like describing the colour red. Who can say if the red carpet I see is the same red as the one you see?

[Leed]

Hello ~ It sounds to me as if you've become a bit depressed about everything. While it might not be a severe depression, it does seem to effect everything in your life and needs some attention.

When you don't seem to care as much about things anymore, and are basically apathetic about them, that's a "danger" signal that you're depressed. Depression can be a serious illness and you don't want to let it go unchecked. I would suggest that you talk to your doctor and have him refer you to a good therapist. Therapy does work, and many times gets to issues we didn't even know we had! So get into therapy -- you won't regret it, I promise.

I wish you the very best! Please let us know how things go! God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

Heya

Could it be that you've just not met the right person yet? And perhaps you've not given yourself some time out to heal from your previous relationship? I know with me, I need a break before I date again.

Work.. well, work always gets a bit dull in the end huh? I normally enjoy a job for around 5 years before I start to get itchy feet, but I can honestly say that I have never loved a job, lucky you!! I think that if you still have fun at work, then you're in a much happier position than most. Perhaps with everything going on with you being single now, that you're just having a bit of a blue time. Maybe giving yourself some tlc, time out and perhaps even a new challenge will help get a bit of your mojo back? Just an idea.

Good luck.

[healingme4me]

You sound heartbroken, in your message. Grieving takes time.

Figuring out, what it means to love, is something that takes time. Maybe, her anger statement, was from her own hurt? Not sure.

When people are heartbroken, depression can happen, any everything else that brought joy, seems to disappear, temporarily.

Could you have cared for her, more than you thought, initially?

Originally Posted by WindGuru

Note: my partner (I use this in a non-sexual, non-romantic sense, more similar to sister than anything else) has ended a five year relationship. Whilst it was going our friendship was as strong as family. We spoke every day for hours and hours, and I would have gladly laid my life down for her, but I have caused problems in our relationship by being too reliant on her.

Anyway, this is over now.

What worries me is that I don't feel quite the same spark as I did when I first met her, when I talk to other new people. With this woman I literally knew within five minutes of talking to her that she would be an amazing friend. I was bouncing off the walls and went to bed with a vast grin on my face, as did she. I've met other nice people, but I just haven't felt the same around them. Perhaps it's because, for better or worse, I've grown up and I no longer feel the same childlike attraction towards people. Maybe it's just that I haven't really met anyone great for me recently.

I'm not sure whether to like it, or what to do, but I do feel as if the "spark" that sustained me in friendships has gone recently. I still love my friends, but it doesn't feel quite as...whole, as it did with Girl A. It's a similar case with my work recently, which I've always loved, but in the last year I've fallen out of love with. It's still fun, but I don't love it as I did.

I feel like I'm lying to my friends when I say I care about them. I imagine I DO, but it's difficult to know. Girl A outrightly told me in an angry rant that my "current behaviour proves I've never loved anyone", which is a load of bollocks, but...I don't know. Describing love is like describing the colour red. Who can say if the red carpet I see is the same red as the one you see?