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#1
Mar 23, 2010, 02:24 PM
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__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut 
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#2
Mar 23, 2010, 02:32 PM
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how are you right now???
__________________
MCLEAN HOSPITAL ALUMN!! www.mylifeintreatment.com there is a LOT of personal information on there from my current hospitalization and it may not be for everyone, but it's a good read! please PM me anytime, day or night... i am always awake and wanting to talk!! We'd never know what's wrong without the pain Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same |
 cantstopcrying
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#3
Mar 23, 2010, 02:34 PM
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Not good at all. Not at all. Sobbing. Scared. Hurt. Embarrassed. Not good.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#4
Mar 23, 2010, 02:45 PM
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cantstopcrying - did something happen to trigger this?
I'm so sorry that you are in this place right now. I can listen. I can just sit here with you while you cry, but know that you are not alone. ((((((cantstopcrying))))))) |
| cantstopcrying
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#5
Mar 23, 2010, 03:16 PM
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sweet heart, try to calm yourself down by doing some deep breathing.....just sit down and tell yourself to forget about everything else for a few moments and just concentrate on your breathing.....you will feel better soon....let us know
with love marjan |
| cantstopcrying
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#6
Mar 23, 2010, 03:35 PM
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What happened?
((((((((( cantstopcrying ))))))))  
__________________
 Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
| cantstopcrying
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#7
Mar 23, 2010, 04:30 PM
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Thank you guys. Thank you so much. It was a bad, bad night last night. I asked how to make the VCR work, I got talked to like a child, I shut the door, the wind caught it, I was yelled at not to slam, I apologized, I got yelled at, I yelled back. My Kaity was right across the hall, she went for a run. I tried to talk calmly, he started to walk away, I shut the door. Dumb dumb dumb. I know. He grabbed my arm, twisted it and shoved me against the door. I called my folks to pick up the girls. More yelling. He's drinking. Saying God-awful awful hurtful things. Said I was going to my folks. Said we'd talk tomorrow. He said No, talking is overrated. I asked if we aren't going to talk, what will fix where we are. He said nothing. He wants to finish working on the bathroom then we'll decide. Went to my folks, came home and went to bed, he slept in the other room. My heart is breaking. Not because he is the love of my life. Because he has been a friend for over 20 years. Because we are good together when he isn't drinking. Because he can't go less than a week without drinking. Because of the mean things he said. Because he put his hands on me again. Because my Kaity heard it. Because I suck at life. Because I can't make right choices. Because I don't know what to do. Because I keep hearing the things over and over. Because of mistakes and mistakes and mistakes. I am so devastated but trying to act ok. I sat at work and sobbed and sobbed. You guys, why? Why am I like this? Why? thank you so much for caring.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#8
Mar 23, 2010, 04:37 PM
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Quote:
(((((((( cantstop )))))))) You deserve better than this. I'm so sorry. Whether he only does it when he drinks or not, you really need to get out of this situation. You really do deserve better than this.
__________________
Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
| cantstopcrying
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#9
Mar 23, 2010, 04:40 PM
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 ((((((((((((((((( Can )))))))))))))))))
__________________
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| cantstopcrying
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#10
Mar 24, 2010, 02:17 AM
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Oh, I am so sorry cantstopcrying but I have to agree with Pegasus. You are in an abusive relationship but I have been there and I know it is easier said than done. I am sending you calming and soothing thoughts.
__________________
 Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
| cantstopcrying
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#11
Mar 24, 2010, 06:29 AM
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I got home from work yesterday and he was fine...playing Wii, asked if I wanted to. We didn't talk except for that. He did write Kaity a note that Said, "Kaity, I'm sorry, Myron." Nothing to me, though. I got up at 1 to ask if he was going to bed soon if he wanted me to turn the lamp on his side of the bed on and he said, "Just let it go and go to bed." Ok, whatever. My dad is supposed to be helping remodel the bathroom Thursday and he said even if I don't want him to he has to say something to him about keeping his hands off me in violence. Lord knows if it will hurt or help. I suck.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#12
Mar 24, 2010, 08:57 AM
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(((cantstopcrying)))) - you don't suck! It is not your fault that he can't or won't control himself. Please be safe and take care of yourself. You deserve so much better.
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#13
Mar 24, 2010, 10:23 AM
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I wonder if I do. Ya know, if I would have not asked Dave to move out almost 2 years ago (which had nothing to do with the man I am with now...we've only been together less than a year), he would most likely still be alive, I would not be physically hurt and not as emotionally hurt. My fault. All of it.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#14
Mar 24, 2010, 10:36 AM
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He drinks. He physically abuses you. He says mean things to you. When does what HE does become HIS fault?
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/15-...e-distortions/ |
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#15
Mar 24, 2010, 11:49 AM
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Logically, I know it's his fault. I know it is. Emotionally, I know that if I would have let him walk away, all of it would not have happened. Then when I go down that road, I get mad because why should it always have to be his way? This is a partnership, a relationship. Give and take. Not hurt and abuse. Not a dictatorship. But like he said, I'm used to it from previous relationships. Here's the conversation: "If you would have just let me walk away, we've had this discussion before, just let me walk away." "If you would have just answered me, instead of walking away." I've told him it's an issue with me, that I need to learn better to just let people walk away, instead of wanting to fix it right then, but why, why does it even have to get to that point? I can't in my wildest dreams imagine my father even thinking of talking to my mother like that. I can take 100% responsibility for my part in it, but in order to keep peace, I also take responsibility for his--outwardly. Inside I am screaming it is wrong.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#16
Mar 24, 2010, 01:59 PM
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He talks the talk of an abuser. And you believe him.
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#17
Mar 24, 2010, 06:30 PM
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Because I suck at life.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#18
Mar 24, 2010, 06:31 PM
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I'm sorry. This isn't normally me. I'm just really hurting.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#19
Mar 25, 2010, 08:41 AM
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((((((( cantstopcrying )))))))
What is happening to you is not of your creation and certainly not of your choosing. I grew up living the cycle of abuse. I can still feel the tension build half a century later. Please read the article. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/dom...4/METHOD=print You can do nothing. You can go to Al-Anon or see a therapist or both (If he lets you). You can see if he will agree to joint counseling. You can call a local safe shelter and decide on a plan to get you safely out of the house if need be. You can ask him to leave with the understanding that as long as he keeps drinking he is not welcome. You can leave if he will not. You can get a legal separation or a divorce. What you likely cannot do is stay without paying an exacting price. Good luck. |
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