[melinda84]

So, I have been on dating sites recently and I have met a few guys, but they have been jerks towards me. I just got out of a bad unhappy relationship like a month ago (yes, I have posted about it so some of you may remember) and now I'm just looking for new people to get to know as friends. I have hopes that it will pontentially develop into a relationship with the right person though. I am starting to become very discouraged and I believe that maybe something is wrong with me. Maybe I am just not as good with people as I thought. I don't know if i should just give up on looking or continue to meet people from dating sites. I can't seem to meet anyone in real life cuz I'm not good at walking up to someone I don't know and starting a conversation.

The 2 guys that I met from the dating sites seemed nice when I met them and I thought it went pretty well, but then after we met they stopped contacting me altogether. It wasn't like I bugged them and sent a bunch of emails or texts either. I just sent like 1 text in a day which was ignored. Before the 2nd guy and I met, we were talking all the time though like hours into the night so I thought we had a connection for sure. Then when we met, he dropped the bomb on me that he has a son. After that I became disinterested in dating him, but I still wanted to be friends since we have a lot in common. The really messed up thing is we made plans to hang out again at the end of the meeting. They both acted like they were interested and then they just stopped talking to me. I think that this is a pretty common thing unfortunately, but I haven't experienced it too much before. I wanted to ask if any of you have experienced this before and what your thoughts are on the matter? I think that if they didn't like me then they shouldn't have led me on and they should have just told me the truth. I would have taken that much better. I'm just looking for some input. Guys can respond to this as well. Both perspectives would help. Thanks.

[englishteacher]

Although life would be much simpler if people said what they meant, it seems that most do not. If I had to guess, I'd say those guys didn't want to hurt your feelings and thought it was gentler or nicer (or easier) to say that they'd hang out again even if they had no intention of doing so. Another possibility with a dating site is that the guys were just looking to "hook up" and since you didn't sleep with them right off the bat - they lost interest. (Sorry guys - but you know there are people out there like that.) Neither of those things makes YOU a bad person or unworthy in any way.

You said you met 2 guys...that's not very many. You said they seemed nice - but were you terribly attracted to or interested in them??? Sometimes people just don't click. Maybe try a few more...or better yet, hang out in places that interest you and be brave - strike up that conversation with someone interesting... If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Good luck!

[Envision]

To quote you " I just got out of a bad unhappy relationship like a month ago". The #1 question is why are you on a dating site so soon? Are you really offering the best of you right now? I would bet not. Would you advise a friend to do the same thing you are doing? If they stopped contacting you after you met, they simply were not interested in you for whatever reason. Whether you connect with someone online or via phone, nothing can replace meeting in person. My input is that its just too early to do this after what you described and via a dating site its just a recipe for disaster rebound relationship. Best of luck.

[jenkins09]

Originally Posted by Envision

To quote you " I just got out of a bad unhappy relationship like a month ago". The #1 question is why are you on a dating site so soon? Are you really offering the best of you right now? I would bet not. Would you advise a friend to do the same thing you are doing? If they stopped contacting you after you met, they simply were not interested in you for whatever reason. Whether you connect with someone online or via phone, nothing can replace meeting in person. My input is that its just too early to do this after what you described and via a dating site its just a recipe for disaster rebound relationship. Best of luck.

I totally agree. From a guys perspective, maybe you are coming off as desperate? I dont want to offend you, so if I am wrong I apologize. Guys can sense when a woman is desperate and looking for a boyfriend/husband. It will scare us off everytime.

Why not take time out to get to know who you are? You are fresh out of a relationship, why jump into another one. Its okay to be alone and I doubt there is anything wrong with you. Just relax and one day when you least expect it the right man will come along.

Good luck.

[MomoBear]

I think you should take a break from dating, and start looking into building Friendships instead.
If you can have a successful friendship, a close friendship, where you two still spend quite a bit of time together but not as much as in a relationship, it will teach you humility and him a better appreciation of you and realizing just how wonderful a person you really are. If you can make a friendship, nurture it into a close friendship, sustain it, and be able to hold it like that for a while, then you have earned the right to be together. ^___^;

Haha, I dunno. This is just my opinion.
Goodluck sweetie!