[madworld]

My problem is not about a romantic type relationship. It has to do with my friend "Mike" who became like a brother to me. I call him a kindred spirit as we both have similar likes/dislikes and have both dealt with depression and anxiety problems. Anyway, he and his wife "Mary" and young adult daughter "Missy" moved to a Pacific island about 5 months ago. Since they've been gone, Mary, who is also my friend, emails me every week or two. I email them (they share an email address) about everything going on here so they feel like they're still "in-the-loop" regarding other friends, local news, and such.(They let me know from the start that they wanted me to do this>) I keep their PO box checked and forward their mail to them. I've sent them "care-packages" of stuff not as easy to get where they live, all at my own expense. I am happy to do this for them. However, since they've been gone, I've gotten one phone call from hMike and one email and both were short. I try to think that guys are not like women in regard to communication, that maybe he feels that his wife's emails are sufficient. But I would like an occassional ackowledgement directly from him. I know he is very busy, but it's like since he's moved, he's forgotten that I'm alive. I even told them in an email that I'd love an occassional "howdy-do" from him too, but it hasn't happened. I just don't know what to think. I inever had a real brother, so is this normal. He was always so good to me and cried on my shoulder when he told me good-bye. This just hurts my feelings so much. All I can figure is that I've failed as a friend somehow, but I don't know what I've done wrong.

Hello, madworld. I do not think you failed Mike as a friend. Mike appears to be a what-have-you-done-for-me-lately kind of guy. An out of sight, out of mind person. He may make excuses, but he will not change. Sorry.

[madworld]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

Hello, madworld. I do not think you failed Mike as a friend. Mike appears to be a what-have-you-done-for-me-lately kind of guy. An out of sight, out of mind person. He may make excuses, but he will not change. Sorry.

It is so strange that things have turned out like this...Mike paid for me to go to a new shrink (over $400) and would confide in me about his own anxiety issues Before he left, he started crying and was hugging me so tight. He said that I'd helped him so much and that I was like a sister to him. He is honestly the gentlest soul and EVERYONE loves him! He's the one that everybody knew they could count on, no matter what. I think that he needed to get away from being the "go-to-guy" all the time. I never burdened him with my problems, but did share my feelings and he'd do the same. He knew he could tell me anything w/o reproach. With me and him, it was an interchange of encouragement. I think many others were more likely to lean on him w/o ever considering his needs. Sigh. I guess that's why this has really puzzled me. I feel low all the time now. I feel almost like he's dead and I'm grieving.

May you heal in due course.