[semiblond]

I am in a relationship with a man that I love very much. We dated for 9 years 10 years ago. We found each other and tried to get back together but had some issues and have finally worked through all of the issues and are now together and spending our life together. The problem is his daughter's mother is very jealous of us being together and just doesn't quit running her mouth. She claims to be a Christian woman but does not act like one. I am trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and just understand that she is upset that he is with me. How much do I tolerate before I say something? She tells hims she doesn't want him contacting her except when it has to do with their daughter but the other night she was texting him till after 11:00 at night just being down right hateful. I really care about this man so much. Any help would be appreciated to help get through this rough patch!!

Thank you!!

[Gleak]

How much you tolerate is entirely up to you. When you feel you've reached a breaking point - that's about when you may want to speak up.

Of course, regardless of the other womans attitude, you should remain calm and explain to her (in person, not online or cell phone texting) that you're at a loss. You've done nothing to her and yet, she's got something against you.

Perhaps you can suggest to your guy that he sticks to what the other woman asked him to do. Contact only in "X" situation.

So, if she texts him and it's about you - he shouldn't respond because that's contact that she didn't want in the first place.

Or he could remind her that she didn't want HIM to contact HER, except for certain situations. Maybe he could also ask her to do the same thing?

I'm sorry if this wasn't overly helpful, but I hope it was. You're not alone out there.

[jenkins09]

Semiblond,

I have been there and done that. I feel that is the only time they should communicate, when it concerns there child. I would let the man your dating know how you feel about the excess texting. If you feel insecure or jealous, tell him. He would hopefully take this into consideration and set a boundry with the mother of his child.

I wish you luck.

[HereIamBp]

It's up to the father to set and keep boundaries with mother/yourself/child.

I agree with, HereIamBp.

[semiblond]

Thank you guys very much!! It really does help getting other people's advice. I am trying to stay positive and not get all stressed out over this situation. It is really hard for me. I am the first to admit when I am feeling out of control with my emotions. I really do care about him a lot and do not want something so petty to cause problems with us. As much as I don't want to admit it, I am jealous of the contact they have. I do understand they need to be in contact with each other because of their daughter. He is here with me, but it does get hard for me with them having so much contact. I am trying really hard to work through these emotions, but it is hard for me at times. How is a good way to handle the situation? Any suggestions are very helpful!!! Thank you guys so much!!

[Sameera]

I can't believe I am going to say this but here goes.

I would just try avoiding it. Try to get him to set up a specific time and so on that he has to deal with her and just don't be around when it is happening. If your not directly dealing with it you might not be bothered so much by it. Other than that just have him keep the topic of her to a minimum as much as possible. Out of site, out of mind, or so I hope.

Well, that is one path anyway. I can't say that it is the best but it might work. I really hope someone comes up with a better solution than this but it might be worth a try.