[eliz777]

Dear all,
I've been with this really nice guy for 2 and a half years. He is really nice except that he is quite clueless about relationship. In March this year, he told me that he feels uncertain about our future and he doesn't know what he wants out of us. We are only 20 so maybe marriage is too far and i would understand if he doesn't want to talk about it. However, recently he told me that he feels really detached from me, the reason being is that he thinks he will be unfaithful to me in the future. This shows that he has very little confidence in himself. Currently, he is serving the army and would be done with the term soon at the beginning of next year. After which he would enter a university. However, he feels uncertain about his future because he cannot get into any of the good local universities. and that is one of the reasons that's affecting our relationships as well. I really don't know what to do. We tried talking about this twice and he refused to open up. He is an introvert and likes to spend alot of time in his own world and shut himself out from the rest of the people, including me. However, for the first 2 years of our relationship, he said he felt attached. Now, he feels detached. He says he loves me but he don't think he loves me enough. He feels that we are being together for the sake for it and that we are just letting days pass by : '( Like we can do with or without each other in our lives and he said it feels like we are only friends sometimes. However, we have both agreed that breaking up is not the solution and we are both willing to work on it. We only meet once a week, do you guys think it is too little? Is this just a phase in the long relationship? What can i do to make him feel attached again? Please help me people, thank you in advance. This issue really breaks my heart, it is making me so miserable and sad, i want him to feel attached again.

[jenkins09]

I hope you find the answers that you are seeking. Unfortunately we cant make others feel a certain way about us.

Hello, eliz777. How do you intend to work on the relationship?

This article is intended for relationships with a longer life, but may help: http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/41521

Good luck.

[Soul Quake]

The fact that he foresees infidelity is a red flag. He also seems to have a few stressors in his life, which may be leaving him discouraged in many aspects of his life.

A feeling of "attachment" can't be forced. To regain it, work has to be put into the relationship on both sides. If he's isolating himself and refusing to deal with issues, that's not going to work. Maybe he's slightly depressed.