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#1
Jun 09, 2010, 10:21 PM
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I have a friend that I was not connected with for about 20 years . We had been the best of friends and I was super excited to have her back in my life. Now, I am not so sure.
She had lost her spouse last year and has a son that is 13 or 14. She is really unhappy, miserable, overly sensitive to everything anyone says that she doesn't agree with and is very controlling. I just don't know what to do. I want to be there for her and her son, but she is so sensitive that we can't say anything to her without her thinking it's a jab at her or negative in her eyes. I would feel extremely guilty for "dumping" her as a friend, but with my issues right now, I just don't feel like I can deal with it. She puts it on me like I was the one in the wrong. It's really hard to explain the entire situation, but basically she said she doesn't feel like I understand her, that I did not listen to her, that I am not being a friend. I am not sure what to do. 
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open."  Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped. 
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#2
Jun 09, 2010, 11:31 PM
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onlymedid, you do not need to be the scapegoat for your friend. She is unhappy and taking it out on you. I would remind her you are trying to be supportive. You are not trying to be negative or judgmental. You have concerns of your own to deal with. If things continue as they are you will have to take care of yourself, even if that means spending less time with the friend.
Good luck. |
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#3
Jun 09, 2010, 11:53 PM
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Thank you for that. I guess I kind of needed to hear that. I don't deserve to be treated this way.
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#4
Jun 09, 2010, 11:57 PM
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That is right, you don't need to be. Have you suggested therapy to her?
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#5
Jun 10, 2010, 06:25 AM
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Quote:
I think that she abuses some prescription meds. She said she "used" to, but quit. IDK if I totally believe her. It would totally explain some of her behavior, that is for sure!
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#6
Jun 10, 2010, 09:49 AM
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I think she may well need help, but it really is not your responsibility to help her, especially if you do not have the emotional capabilities right now. If you want to be her friend and see her, maybe ensure it is only in the type of environment where she cannot snap or you cannot discuss too personal issues e.g. go see a movie, go to a concert, lunch with a whole of people...
And then the next best thing is to get to her see a T - even if it means practicing tough love Hang in there, and I hope you have your old friend back soon! |
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#7
Jun 11, 2010, 09:51 PM
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I can't even see her. She lives hundreds of miles away. I can't get her to agree to see anyone. She always uses money as an excuse for not being able to do anything. I think I am just going to leave her alone until she figures out what she wants. I can't keep playing this game of hers.
Thanks for all the advice. I needed it!
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#8
Jun 11, 2010, 10:30 PM
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Be well, onlymedid.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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