[Dreamer4ever]

I posted this is the depression forum and someone directed me over here so here goes...

I slept with a co-worker after we had flirting for a few months. We finally ended up going out one night and we ended up getting intimate. Now all the flirting is over with and he hasn't attempted to contact me at all. I still see him at work every day and we make polite chit chat but that's it. I am so humiliated and embarrassed. I know I should have known better doing that with someone I work with but from all of our conversations I never thought it would end up being a one night stand. It's been almost 3 weeks and I cry every day. I have dealt with depression in my life before and this feels like one of the worst things I have ever gone through. I feel so worthless and unimportant. I want to scream at him or send him a nasty text or email asking him why he did this to me. Obviously there was something about me he didn't like or I would have heard from him. It is the worst thing having to see him at work every day!

I also am a little obsessed with him and do things like go by the gym he works out at to see if his car is there or check to see when he goes to lunch and with who at work. I feel really crazy right now and any advice on how to cope with this would be appreciated.

[slowinmi]

Dreamer4ever

I'm so sorry this happened to you. What you need to remember however, is that this guy didn't "do this to you". I'm sure he didn't set out to hurt you and have a one-night stand. It it probably something that just happened - some guys (and some girls too) are just looking for a temporary fling and a little fun. He didn't mean it personally to you - it's just what he is looking for now.

I know it's a cliche', but the best thing you could do now is to move on. Stop following him, find a new friend, join a gym, anything that shows him you are just co-workers again. Good luck.

slow

[Rhapsody]

Until you two actually talk to each other again you will never know what is going on... he might even be thinking some of the same things you are.

[sugahorse1]

Why not send him an e-mail and start some chit chat? I've been in the same boat (Wrt a co-worker) and unfortunately you need to communicate else it will become blatantly obvious to all other co-workers that there's something wrong.

Most guys do tend to handle the whole concept of one-night-stands a whole lot easier than most girls.
Unfortunately you also need to take responsibility of what happened - you knew you weren't in a committed relationship and therefore cannot expect him to treat you like a girlfriend.

One-night-stands are very complicated, as you cannot bring emotions with; and especially as a girl, this is hard.

I'm so sorry! (((HUGS)))

[Dreamer4ever]

Thanks everyone. I did send him a text message the other day and he said he would let me know if he wanted to "play" but I could ask him any time. So, obviously he is just looking for a FWB. I'm not going to be asking or calling him at all. I certainly don't need to ask someone to sleep with me!

I will admit that I was a willing participant in all of this and encouraged him with my flirting. I should have known it would turn out badly. I guess my feelings are just hurt that he doesn't think enough of me to contact me. I am more mad at myself for acting stupid and doing something I knew I should not have done.