[CherryDropz88]

I had been with my bf up until last week. I really liked him. And I thought he really liked me. Well, he told me he was married this whole time we were together. Oh and I guess he had kids. He never wore a wedding band or even told me he was married. I feel bad for him wife though because she has no ides what's going on. I feel bad because I don't want to be a home-wrecker or anything. I'm not that kind of person. See, I was completely faithful to him, and when I'm dating someone I only see them, no one else. I was really hurt by this, never expected him to tell me this. And he could have just said that he doesn't think it's working out between us and leave me that way instead of the "I'm married." stuff. But I am starting to put all the pieces together... like him always having to work, or not ever introducing me to his parents, you know things like that.

Why do some men cheat anyway? Are they really not happy in their marriages? I feel so icky being the mistress. Never signed up for this...

[justjoanie]

This is just what some people do! I've never been in a relationship that I wasn't cheated on. The relationship I'm in right now, the only thing that has happened, is that her ex kissed her, and she let her. But to me, that's cheating all the same. We are working on getting over this.
You had NO idea he was married, so you have nothing to feel bad about. He is the jerk that couldn't stay faithful, and lied to you.
I would feel bad for the wife too, but not because of something that you did, but because of the jerk she is married to.
Keep your head up! You are a good person!

[Perna]

Hi, Cherry Dopz! How long were you with your boyfriend? I never had a relationship where I didn't know anything about the other person's life like that. How did you meet him? Are you sure he's married or is he maybe using that as an excuse to get out of the relationship (kind of the opposite of what you were told). It could be he's just a 100% liar and lying about the marriage thing too now. I'm glad you are out of that though, whatever his life is. I'm sorry you had to get hurt like that.

[CherryDropz88]

I was with him for 6 months. Met him through a good friend of mine. Yeah, he is such a liar. I found his wife on facebook though and was tempted to send her a message but changed my mind. I just want to take myself out of this whole situation.

[justjoanie]

Good choice. Don't send a msg to her, she will find out soon enough. He'll get caught.

[Perna]

I'd talk to the "good" friend, doesn't sound so good if they introduce you to a married man without knowing/letting you know. If they didn't know, they have no business "recommending" him as a friend for an unattached female!

I do not understand how so many can be so uncaring. They use people and discard them without remorse.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Cherrydropz,

I really feel for you; my ex husband was unfaithful more times than he was home. Believe me if he is married she will find out soon enough and you will not be the one to break someone elses heart, thats important because you would be upset with yourself for doing that which means you would have had a double whammy upsetting you.

There is better out there for you, so much better. I agree with Perna too that you should talk to the person who introduced you to him and ask why they didn't tell you he was married; I don't see that as something a friend wouldn't know or would forget.

Time for some emotional weight lifting and push-ups strengthen yourself and get back into the swing of things and keep dating until the tight ones comes along,

Cheers & Hugs,

Rhian

[CherryDropz88]

My friend didn't know he was married. See, they use to work together and now they both have different jobs but my ex lied to my friend saying he was single and wanted to know if my friend knew anyone he could "hang out" with. So my friend told him about me and than we started seeing each other. I knew I shouldn't have slept with him on the first date but I really liked him and I thought we clicked. He even said we did. Heh... what a liar.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

CherryDropz,

What an awful position to be placed in! Your intentions have been used against you; some men and women are predators and are out only for their own satisfaction and people like you who are emotionally and lovingly open are prime targets.

Sleeping with him on the first date is nothing to be ashamed of; in fact he's probably very experienced in getting women to do just that, so don't feel guilty about it. On top of that there's nothing wrong with being "Asexual" men do it and don't have any guilt and women have the very same rights to decide for themselves what they want.
So don't feel guilty and don't feel silly for being conned and used, it most certainly isn't your fault,

Loving thoughts,

Rhian

[lynn P.]

I've been betrayed and it's excruciating. I hope you won't fall for - "I promise we're going to get divorced", "she doesn't make me happy like you do", "I was afraid to tell the truth cause I didn't want to lose you" etc. Good for you, for not continuing this affair - he's slime.

[CherryDropz88]

Rhian, thank you for your kind words. I know I shouldn't feel ashamed but just thinking about all the memories I've had with him, not just sexual ones either... I really gave him 110% and he couldn't even be honest with me much less give me any percentage.

I had to discontinue this affair, even though I really had feelings for him. I knew logically he wouldn't leave his wife, they never do. Plus if a man will cheat on his wife, than what's to say he wouldn't cheat on me down the road? That's how I look at it.

You are in my thoughts, CherryDropz88. May you soon find peace.

[susan888]

You did the right thing! Be proud of yourself. I don't understand how people can be so cruel (not only to his wife, but to you too!) I think you must be a very, very good person! There is something so much better waiting for you!