[not2exist]

So in a nut shell I feel my gf is bi or bi curious. I have many valid reasons to think this & is does not make me mad @ all. Once again, if she was honest w/ me I would not label it as cheating. She is unhappy to some degree in life as has been for a while. I feel this being the case, how do I "promote" this so she can find out or whatever so she'll be happy. We were both raised baptist & I think she feels it wrong either in life & or in our relationship. I do not, so long as 1. she's honest, 2. it's w/ a decent clean lesbian & not some nasty skank or burley dike I'm fine w/ it. No "manly" female as I'm her Man & that's not cool lol.
I want her to be happy. So how can I promote this so she can go find out? Drop her off at a trendy "chick" bar?
& no I have no want to get involved in any 3way. That I would consider cheating as I'm w/ another women even though she would be there. A man cannot compete w/ that so I have no problem & I do want her to be happy.
She's dening herself to much happiness in life over fear & it effects both of us.

[justjoanie]

This is coming from a Bi female.... Just be honest with her. I was raised baptist, so I know how the guilt thing is. I don't believe it to be wrong anymore. I spent alot of my life miserable.
Talk to her openly about it. I don't really know what to tell her to start the conversation. If she is on here, have her get ahold of me, she can ask me anything she wants.
Right now I'm happy and content in a lesbian relationship, but I've been married before to men that were no where near as understanding as you are.
But also be prepared. In re-discovering myself, I've realized that although I'm bi, I'm primarily gay. I always thought that I was primarily straight. That is something that you may have to face in the future.
Just be honest with her, and be there for her no matter what she discovers about herself in the process.

[not2exist]

Hey thanks! It's a touchy subject for most i guess as you are the only responder. If she is indeed "primarily gay" so be it. I would accept it & deal w/ it & if things didn't work out that's life. My goal as her man is for her to be happy, w/ or w/out me. So long as has a place & it's not @ home, & she is honest I'm cool. Only fear would be her once again hooking up w/ a girl I don't approve of even though I know it's not my place. Well, I get a little say as we are together. She does have an acct here though I don't think she uses it.
As far as being prepared, if we ever broke it off clean & I knew she was happy, I would go on in life & in time find my happiness.

[Perna]

Not2, I think your gf has to solve any problem of this nature on her own, in her own time and as she sees fit. I know, if you were my boyfriend and started calling me bi when I wasn't sure or "out-of-the-blue" or hadn't even been thinking of it at all (and had other reasons for what you think you see) I would be offended. At the most, I would suggest, next time you see something that makes you think she might be bi-interested, that you mention your thoughts to her, see what she says. How you feel about her being/not being bi/gay/whatever is not the point; it's her sexuality.

[not2exist]

That's true, but being a nut case I unintentionally offend her on a regular basis. So it wouldn't be that bad lol. There are many reasons & no I'm not reading to much into it. Just want to get it out there so if it's the case it can be dealt w/ by use of a bible!

HAHAHAAHA JK on the bible, but then she won't be wishing she was doing something else. It won't happen "over time" as it's been 7yrs & it's guilt trippin her so bad she'll take it to the grave & I don't want that. If indeed it is the case. Most likely going to go down that road w/ her tonight so any pointers or suggestions plz bring um fast!

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hey not2,

This is a weird subject matter; it's as if you have her life all sorted out and in a neat little package. You can't do that it's her life and her body. And it sounds as though you are ok with it because it's not another guy and so you don't consider it sex or cheating and you don't consider it offensive if the woman is almost someone of your choosing (not this or that but the other is ok), if she is with someone else sexually or emotionally it is cheating.

I really think that you need to sit her down and ask her if she wants the relationship to keep going, because from the sound of things you have a completely different relationship with her than she thinks you have,

Good luck with this,

Rhian

[not2exist]

Well, went down that road & glad I did. I'm not going to go into any detail as it's none of my business to talk about hers. I can say we &^%* like bunny rabbits like we hadn't for 5 to 7 years so a great stress relieved in both of us.

This is the end of the thread & the end of not2exist as problem is sovled. Thanks to those supportive.

And, happy trails to you ... .