[Stark777]

When trust has gone from a relationship, is it better to keep trying to regain trust in each other or move on, not even being friends? Easier said than done for me - I don't think I could lose the friendship of my ex without damaging more my already fragile heart

Stark777

[Belle1979]

I don't think that trust can be 'regained'.. you have to be open and willing to trust again as it can't be earnt.

I couldn't have imagined my life without my ex in it either... We tried so hard to be 'friends' in the end I would say that if something really went wrong in my life he would be there for me but that is as far as it goes now.
I do miss him, I will not lie, but he has his own life and now I have mine... clinging to the past doesn't help anyone... the past is just that past.. the future holds much happier times for you xx

[sabby]

I think trust is a very difficult thing to regain after it has been broken. If trust was broken as mates, wouldn't there also be a lack of trust as friends too?

I think it takes special people and circumstances to be able to be friends after the relationship has died. It's not that it doesn't or can't happen, but it is more rare that it happens. I also think that maybe in time an ex couple could be friends after the emotions of the breakup have been dealt with.

I find it hard to be friends with someone I once loved deeply and the relationship has ended. I can deal in social situations just fine if we meet up, but I would not want to have them in my life any closer than being an acquaintance as it just tugs at my heart strings or my anger too much. It's better left alone for me!

Wishing you well!

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Once trust is broken it is forever weakened and that link will always be known as the weakest one. People can lie to themselves but it is only a matter of time until the link breaks again, imho

Rhiannon

[Stark777]

Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon

Once trust is broken it is forever weakened and that link will always be known as the weakest one. People can lie to themselves but it is only a matter of time until the link breaks again, imho

Rhiannon

I think the weakest link can be fixed by the missing link

[uoffl]

Trust can be there, but it's a process. It's not forever broken. Maybe I'm an optimist but I do believe everyone gets chances. We know everyone makes mistakes and sometimes those mistakes can breach trust, but it can be fixed by BOTH parties. I agree with Belle1979, you have to be open and receptive for it to happen on your part, and the other person has to do their part too.
Expect that your friends to do stupid stuff, and hurt you at least once
Expect yourself to make mistake and hurt them
But it's in their heart to forgive you (and of course, you gotta go on that journey to learn how not to make the same mistake), and it should be in yours to forgive them.
"If you expect your friends to never make mistake and never hurt you, then you will end up friendless at the end". It was an advice from an older person than me, and for me it rings true.
Of course there are circumstances where that person may be hurting you too much to the point where it's very physically and emotionally unhealthy for you, where you'll go through depression, not eating, not functioning, then it's time to part so both of you can learn to become your own person.
In the end, only you can decide whose relationship is important to work on and who isn't. But yes, it takes time, 'cause it's a long process. It's like learning how to walk for both people.

Both must want to trust. If one does not, there is little the other may do.

[Perna]

I think honesty can keep the trust from being broken. One's trust doesn't get broken because an SO leaves or loves someone else as much as because they start it behind one's back. My husband told his ex right away when he started dating me, did not hide it or let it get to her ears from someone else or wait until she "discovered" it. His ex and I are good friends and she still trusts him. I trust him because I watched how he treated his ex, mother, my mother, etc., the other women in his life.

I can't imagine, were I cheated on, that I would want to regain the trust. Someone else can't "accidentally" cheat. In my marriage there would have to be really broken communications for that to happen and I don't see that happening. If my husband met someone else, he'd tell me right out, would choose one or the other and keep it clean and keep me in the loop as to what was happening.