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#1
Jul 24, 2010, 07:54 AM
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My ex BF keeps coming back and wanting to sleep with me. We broke up 4 months ago because he got cold feet about me moving in. Since then, he's been dating other women, but always comes back to me. He keeps telling to be patient. I am out of patients, he is 48 yrs old and has been divorced for 2yrs. I am having trouble moving on. I try to date but can't seem to desire any other man. I wish I did, but I can't. I do still love my ex and I know he is probably using me. But why would he want to hurt me over and over again! So confused and sad!!!
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#2
Jul 24, 2010, 08:01 AM
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I am sorry he is doing that to you. It doesn't feel good. You shouldn't have to wait for him to screw other women before he decides to be with you for more than a physical relationship. Just keep dating and if you are single when he does figure things out then look into it but you have to take care of you. If you sit and wait you may miss something wonderfull
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#3
Jul 24, 2010, 08:13 AM
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Don't let him come back, tell him you've moved on and to leave you alone. If he doesn't get a restraining order. Don't keep seeing or talking to him; change your locks, phone numbers, etc. if you have to.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
 lynn P.
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#4
Jul 24, 2010, 08:59 AM
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Yes I agree - make a clean break. If he's with other women, this makes you exposed to them as well unless you're practicing safe sex. I recommend no contact as Perna suggested - you need to get him out of your system - like a bad drug lol.
__________________
 This is our little cutie Bella  *Practice on-line safety. *Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts. *Make your mess, your message. *"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi) |
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#5
Jul 24, 2010, 10:17 AM
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 Have you heard the term "wants his cake and eat it too"? That's what this is. He has his freedom, but he wants you too... he wants the whole field and none of the responsibility. This wanting to sleep with an "ex" (BF or former spouse) IS the norm for them (especially abusive guys.) Say no. Block his email addy, block his phone number, do not make contact or he will "woo you back" into a relationship in which you continue to suffer. Just say no.
__________________
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| lynn P.
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#6
Jul 24, 2010, 11:04 AM
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oh he is such an *** that he's doing this to u... if he had an ounce of self respect he wouldnt do this! my advice is that u should let go of him. even if he tries to get back to u, u shouldnt look back. u'll eventually find some one better some day. u are worth much more than that!
take care....
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#7
Jul 25, 2010, 12:08 PM
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Not enough information about the relationship here for anyone to start bashing the guy. Why did he get cold feet, or was he just not interested in you? He just decided to go out sleep with all these women and now just sleep with you as you wait. There is a lot missing to this story. Give us all the details and a clearer picture will emerge as to what is really going on.
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#8
Jul 25, 2010, 06:16 PM
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Quote:
After that, we got along very well, spent everyday and night together. I had started to move my stuff into his home in January at his request. In Feb he said he was getting anxious and scared about me moving in, I told him that was OK. I never pressured him! I let him have some space and that is when he started to get wierd. He keeps coming back to me over and over, but keeps dating others. I am at my wits end. He says to just give him time and he will be back. But in the mean time he keeps wanting to sleep with me. I asked him to give me my stuff from his home, he brings me a few things at a time. I still dont have everything! I cant seem to move on cause there is still a big connection! This weekend he has invited me over everynight, but then cancels at the last minute! I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster! I dont know what to do anymore |
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#9
Jul 26, 2010, 12:44 AM
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This is a control drama. He is controlling what you get when you get it how you get it. He is playing a game of emotional stress and physical dirt bag.
If you didn't hear this before my advice is to get as far away from him as possible; he is an abusive personality who must control every aspect of his life. Sociopathic tendencies are to try to rush some one into marriage and relationships and then dangle themselves as a carrot. It's not because he loves you, not at all...it is to see how much he can control you. If you play his game and are appropriately cowed he may get engaged to you until he finds another easier to control target, whom he will do exactly the same thing to. And he will show no guilt whatsoever no matter what he does. The closest you get to that is the "Give me time I'll com back". Not "I'll come back and we'll marry", just "I'll come back"...and he does often...but no more than that. You are worth much more than this and if it were me I would be getting as far away from this treatment as possible. Because once a cheater always a cheater they do not changes their spots. Though he will tell you he isn't technically cheating because you are not actually together... I wish for you strength and personal power...
__________________
 Peace, the deep imperturbable peace is right there within you, quieten the mind and slow the heart and breathe...breathe in the perfume of the peace rose and allow it to spread throughout your mind body and senses...it can only benefit you and those you care about...I care about you |
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