[tydi]

I have had the same boyfriend for 6 1/2 years at this point. For the vast majority of this time, he has been great (very supportive, non-judgemental, etc.). We even got engaged over Christmas break; and I moved in with him this summer.

However, the past two or three weeks have been difficult. We haven't been communicating as much and the romance component has been dwindling. He doesn't say all the sweet stuff he used to say before, and I think it has been like, 2 1/2 weeks minimum since we have had sex (which is way long, I think). At the same time, I am looking for work that would utilize my college major. And, to top it off, earlier this week, my boyfriend met up with his minister (we are of different faiths by the way) and was basically told by his minister than G-d would not sanction an interfaith marriage, in particular that Christians should only marry other Christians if they want
G-d's blessing. He takes his minister's advice very seriously and wants me to convert (which I will not do, as I cannot change my basic religious beliefs; and why should I have to anyway, you know?). Consequently, we have been sort of discussing the issue of religion angrily off and on ever since that meeting with his minister, but haven't resolved the issue at all.

I don't know. Things have just gotten a little tricky lately. I really really hope that our relationship is not hopelessly ****ed up, but it has been feeling that way recently. I totally fear a schizoaffective relapse at this point. My mood is not elevated, to say the least. I love this guy and if he drops me I will be crushed (and nearly friendless for that matter). I just don't know what the **** to do (please excuse my language). Advice?

Welcome to the Community, tydi

The Relationships & Communication Forum is here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=7
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...n-today/all/1/

The Schizophrenia and Psychosis Forum is here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=31
http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx4.htm
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/liv...isorder/all/1/

What do you know about his religion? Does he expect you to be subservient? Why did it take 6 1/2 years for him to ask the minister. I suspect something more is going on here.

If your converting is a condition precedent to marriage, you have a decision to make.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello tydi,

Religion again...it's responsible for wars the world over.

While I agree that he shouldn't be at you to change your religion (remind him that Chelsea Clinton is marrying interfaith), if he is a practing member of his faith and you are not, what would the difference be?

My father in law converted to my mother in laws faith just so that they could be together. They had discussed it but had not come to any conclusion and it was a barrier to their marrying. He secretly took instruction in my mother in laws faith and asked her to marry him on the day he converted. My mother in law though not religious, was so moved by his willingness to do this for her and it bonded them together as a couple more than any religion could; it was the act of converting for her that deepened her love for him.

I really hope you sort this out because if you can't then you are both going to be miserable and you won't be living there for very much longer because you will have no option but to seperate as the relationship gets worse; which is the indication by the fact that you are not communicating and aren't having sex...which is another thing I find odd because most religious couples don't have sex before marriage...

Good luck with this...I am so glad I don't subscribe to this stuff