[bridgie]

My guy just had a friend pass away and I know that some people don't like to open up when things like that happen. I wish he would talk to me. Let me know what he's thinking. I don't expect him knowing some people aren't good at that. Just wish I could do more than stand by and watch him feel blue. Bad enough I'm on the down side. Its making it very tough. Neither one of us feeling good. very sad about it.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Dearest ((((((((bridgie))))))))

How sad for you both. You know sometimes the best thing is just to be there with them. You're right not everyone can discuss how they are feeling and boys are taught as children to "suck it up and get on with it". They are taught to hide their true feelings and just keep going.

I'd honestly give him the space to grieve, even tell him to go hang out with his mates other friends so that they can grieve together. Often that allows them to start talking about the silly things their mate did and starts the healing process.

Let him know you are there for him at any time, cook his favourite meals and give him back rubs, but being there even in silence is supportive to him. I am sure he really is aware that you care and that he has you to lean on. That silent support means more than you know,

Rhiannon

[lynn P.]

I think Rhiannonsmoon has given the best advice. I'll just add that it's important to give him what 'he' needs not what you think he needs. This reminds me of a nice quote I read - " I sat on the porch with my friend in silence for an hour. As I walked away, I thought to myself...that was the best conversation I've ever had".

[sara 20]

I completly agree with them.the boys are not used to talk about their feelings .just show him you are there for him and dont push him to talk about his feelings when he is ready he will tell you how he has been feeling.just make sure he knows when he is ready you are there for him .I know how hard It can get in this situations .I hope it get better.

[bridgie]

I told my guy I was just going to give him some space and he can let me know when he wants to talk or if he does. He said he feels like he let me down. Perhaps because I've been depressed and I told him that. I do think I made the mistake of saying that wanted to give him space and that was ok bcz I have my own problems to deal with. I'm thinking this wasn't a good time to get involved with anyone. Contemplating ending the relationship so we don't get closer and it will be harder then. I don't know I just so sad right now. Just want to hide. Noone can see me.

[lynn P.]

((Bridgie)) - I don't think you should end the relationship, especially when you're upset. It's not good to make important decisions when you're upset. He seems sensitive to your feelings. Giving space doesn't necessarily mean giving distance - you can still be near each other, but it means giving permission to be quiet without that uncomfortable feeling, where you feel you need to entertain one another. Don't feel sad - okay?