[scooter62487]

Well, I finally hit my limit last friday. I know longer
know what to do. I'm not sure about anything anymore. What
seemed so right now seems so wrong. I guess I'm just
tired. I'm tired of fighting. Sometimes wether you win the
fight is not whats important, what's important is how you
fight. Alaways remember it takes two to fight. It is never
just one persons fault. No one is ever completly innocent
and the other is completly wrong. If anyone trys to tell
you that they are lying. Both people are normally wrong
for that is what causes the fight. No one wants to admit
to being wrong when in all actuallaty everyone is wrong
many times in our life. What really is the point of
fighting? There isn't one. When your wrong you t hink its
important but when you get older you realize that its just
immature to fight all the time. Both my baby's are asleep
and my other baby isn't home yet. I just want peace and
quiet and some time to relax. I'm tired of arguing. I'm so
tired of talking 3-4 times before the person I'm talking
to listens. If you have to talk to someone that often then
it's no use talking at all because aparently they don't
respect you. My emotions are shot my nervers are taunt.
Life is so full of ups and downs that you never stay in
one place long. I know they ups will come again but the
downs have me lost inside. Everything has changed. As I
spiral downwards in my emotions I'm starting to snap at
the people I love. Yes, I can't wait to spend time with
you but now when your around all I do is attack you.
Everything you say is wrong. I get defensive at everything
that comes out of your mouth even when its ment as a
compliment. The worst part is you don't understand and you
should. Your the one that helped me before. You sat with
me and talked to me and helped me get through what I
thought I couldn't get through but this time around you
don't understand. Hopefully you come home soon. Come home
to me and hold me. Tell me that everything will work out.
COmfort me like you did before and help me get through
this insaine would I keep putting myself in. Those
feelings in side of me are starting to die a little more
every day and I need you to help me find my way because
I'm so in love with you.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

I hope you feel better soon. This was very difficult to read (very dense with no paragraphs is hard for epileptics to read). It sounds like a journal entry.

But I really do hope that you feel better soon. Just remember that though things are hard for us, they are just as hard for the one supporting us. They do not know what is going on in our minds, they have no clue as to when or how we are going to spiral down. It is just as hard on them as it is us, so please give grace when they try to help in any way

[scooter62487]

Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon

I hope you feel better soon. This was very difficult to read (very dense with no paragraphs is hard for epileptics to read). It sounds like a journal entry.

But I really do hope that you feel better soon. Just remember that though things are hard for us, they are just as hard for the one supporting us. They do not know what is going on in our minds, they have no clue as to when or how we are going to spiral down. It is just as hard on them as it is us, so please give grace when they try to help in any way

I just wrote what was on my mind and how I was thinking it.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Oh Scooter please don't take it personally, I didn't mean it was emotionally hard to read just physically hard to read. I really will have to stop automatically writing what is in my mind.

What I was trying to say is that sometimes is is just as hard for those who are trying to support us because they are reacting to our behaviours and the things we say. They do not always know how to react to us because they are not in our skin and mind and they don't fully know what is going on in our mind.

You could always direct them to the carer support forum here, it gives some support and ideas on how to deal with each situation and how to cope themselves. It really can be so hard on them because they really do not understand what is happening in our heads where as we feel it.

Try to never give up and have at least some faith in yourself and in your relationship so that you can keep pulling together in the same direction. You deserve the love and support just as anyone else does, but at times you will feel worse than others so if you journal you will get it out and free up some mind space which is beneficial for a less confused or combustable state of mind.

Just wanting to offer some support and some ideas on how to reduce your own agitation as well as a partners issues,

Rhiannon

[scooter62487]

I know its okay I'll leave a post after this weekend when I know if things changed or not.