[turquoisesea]

Hi everyone

Just wanting some thoughts and ideas on a situation I'm in. I am currently rooming with a friend who definitely has some emotional issues.

I would say she has some OCD type stuff going on, not with neatness but with time, and having things go exactly as planned. When things don't fit her plan she FLIPS.

She also will refuse to voice her feelings. She will glare at you or even have tears in her eyes and say, when asked "I'm fine", or "nothings' wrong". Dealing with this can be very difficult for me, as I need to be able to work through triggers quickly or I risk falling back into depression.

She avoids problems, so if she's upset with me she will refuse to talk about it, and hide out wherever she can to avoid conflict.

For instance one day things got to overwhelming for her. Someone else was late for a meeting with her, I was slow giving her an answer for something (I couldn't go any faster), and who knows what else. She pretty much lost it but the second she had to go somewhere she put a smile on her face and walked out the door. She wouldnt talk to me for a bit, but eventually came forward to talk. During the time she wouldnt though, I was very triggered by the situation.

any ideas on how to deal with similar situations?

[madisgram]

hi turq, long time no see. sounds like a complicated situation. jme, but can you detach yourself from roomie's issues/OCD,etc? it sounds like you feel you get sucked into her stuff. and yes that can be a trigger for depression, so detaching yourself emotionally would help...meaning, that stuff is on her. if you reward her behavior by letting her know it bothers you, it will only create more conlict for you. but then-the hard part-let it go. don't absorb the anger/frustration within yourself. if she won't speak to you, etc. ignore it and go on about your business. it's like giving her an audience if you don't.
sorry but glad i'm not in your shoes, but hope these suggestions may help you.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello turquoisesea,

I agree that detatching and putting a clear delineation point between her stuff and your stuff may be the only way to handle this situation, otherwise you will be triggered by her so badly that one of you will have to move out. She will have a thorough flip out one day because she doesn't deal with things, hopefully that day is far off