[mysecretname]

I am sorry, don't really know where to post this... I just need to vent as I really have no one to talk to over here....

As some of you know my situation with deployment and girlfriend and the fact that I had initially lied about still being married (separated, divorce in progress). I have just been under a lot of stress lately. My girlfriend and I have had some problems, she is bipolar, has a lot of stress from my stupid mistakes, dealing with everyday life and some horrible things that have happened (totaled her car, miscarriage of our twin babies, custody battle with her ex, lost her job...). She hit her breaking point and went back on medication and is doing better, but with any relationship, her stress became my stress from worrying about her and "us". I have done my best to support her, show her my love and she, as I said is doing better... But I am getting worse myself. I do not have biological children and I was so happy and looking forward to our twins, so that is very hard for me. I am deployed so that is bad enough, but I work a 12 hour night shift and I can't get any sleep during the day with construction and other people (I live in an 8 man tent, of which I am the only one on night shift). Also, my soon to be ex-wife will not go quietly into the past. She emails and calls my mom (who is living in my house, with my girlfriend). I do not hide anything (after my first stupid mistake) from Kimberly (my girlfriend) so she knows that my ex is doing this. Which p*sses her off to no end, and rightfully so. I try to ignore my ex and just finish everything as fast as possible, but Kimberly can't do that so her being upset just stresses me and her out more.... I don't really know what to do anymore... I am so tired and stressed... if I am not at work I am trying to sleep, I even stayed in bed so late today that I didn't have time to eat or take a shower. I am unmotivated, can't force myself to get to the gym, not eating like I usually do and just feel like crap. I know that many people here have it much harder than I do and I kind of feel like a whiny baby right now, but I just need to get some of this stuff out. I have decided to see the doc tomorrow to get some sleeping meds and try to get back on track, but I have used them before and they usually make me feel worse.... I don't know... I guess I am just rambling..... Thanks for reading anyways.....

[Gus1234U]

it's no secret,,, everyone has a breaking point,, don't go beyond yours, you won't like it ALOT,,, get the meds, get the sleep, let time pass,, things will change,, that's the only thing we can really count on, , things will change~!

[Belle1979]

You are not a whiney baby.
Vent Vent Vent.
You are the type of guy that seems to really love the woman you are with (NICE WORK BTW).

Sounds to me more like depression than anything else. The lack of sleep and unmotivate actions. Talk with the Doc about that side of things as well as just the lack of sleep.

You are a good person but you breaking down wont help the relationship or yourself. You can only give so much of yourself - save some to keep you sane.