[dsh74]

Married at 18, due to pregnancy. Now am in 50's, never had a life of my own. Oldest daughter live(s) with us, feeling dependent somewhat on us, until she got a job offer.
Something needed to change, yes...

Man, don't even know what I'm doing here, right now, don't know what to say or how. Seems no one cares about me, is all. But do I care about them? Maybe that's the question. Whatever...!

Have felt so many times like giving up and today was one of those days, again!

No life of my own. Feeling stuck, no confidence, whatever. Yes, I have abilities, but not even my own family seems to need me... Sorry - to many thoughts going on in my head. Too many things going on in my/our lives.

Yes, got married, moved with husband for his jobs. Still nothing really for me. Youngest daughter may end up a little like me now. She and her family had lived here, they moved, some emptiness with that (since she has our only grandchild - and one on the way). And yes, something needed to change, so felt good that other daughter got the job offer, except, where I/we are living, sucks. And I didn't want to stay alone, yeah, husband drives and is gone. Only son lives in town, they were going to move, I mentioned them moving in with me. Fine, except not sure can trust them. They'll be moving in this weekend.

And oldest daughter not moved to her new place yet, maybe in a few weeks. But I've been too dependent on everyone, seems my whole life. Anyway, hubby and my anniversary was recently, but he didn't make it home in time - one bummer. Got home yesterday and argue today, just great, another bummer. Not used to him being here, and daughter busy at trying to get her things ready to move, well actually so her brother and his wife could have her room, first.

I need to go back in time a bit here - sorry again. But, have been here for 6 yrs. due to helping with parents while in a rest home. Mom passed 3 yrs. ago, dad did earlier this year. So, guess what, we could move, but house is in my name and my brother's. I know, all confusing. Either way, life feels all disrupted, with one daughter having left and another one getting ready to. Never saw son and wife. She doesn't like me, yet they're going to live here, we'll see how it goes, have been stressed to say the least, with worries about what if's and all.

But not knowing what to do with my/our future. Come on now, fine, you kids figure things out for yourselves, you know, but what's good old mom and dad going to do now? And still knowing most of the time, in our marriage, we're not together, with what he does anyway, for now.

And you know, we could move near my in-laws, and what help with them? I'd thought of that, even though they have 2 kids near them already. Just don't know - hate moving, but yes, would like to. Not sure how or when, what to do with this house, on and on. But when, well it wasn't just hubby and I that argued today, it was all three of us (with daughter too). Mean things said. I drove off, needing to get away. Needing to eat and drink something too, felt sick during night, couldn't sleep. Always, something like that going on and even my family gets tired of my stupid problems, with stomach, etc., etc.

So, feel like where to go from here. Can't seem to do anything right. Not many friends either, to talk to. Well, I know many have it lot worse than me. Sure would like to hear if others can identify though.

Hello, dsh74. Sorry your life is so tough right now. Love yourself. Accept who you are and go from there.

Be well.