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#1
Oct 06, 2010, 12:59 PM
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 I hAVE BEEN WIRH MY BOYFRIEND FOR TWO YEARS. I JUST RECENTLY FOUND OUT HE HAS CHEATED ON ME. MY LAST RELATIONSHIP ENDED IN DIVORCE FOR THE SAME THING. MY CURRENT AND PAST MEN HAVE TOLD ME THAT IM NOT AGGRESSIVE ENOUGH IN BED..THAT BASICALLY IM BORING. WHEN I WAS SINGLE I WAS OUT OF CONTROL WITH THE MEN I DATED I WOULD DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. BUT AS SOON AS I FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH A MAN ..I GET UNCOMFORTABLE AND SHY..I SEE THE PATTERN AND JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO BREAK IT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? I LOVE THIS MAN AND I WANT TO MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP WORK. 
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#2
Oct 06, 2010, 03:18 PM
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why do you want to stay with someone that cheated? are they saying your lack of aggressivness is an excuse for their bad behavior, because it is not. perhaps looking into why you want to please these men so badly is something to consider. maybe takign time away from relationships to figure some things out and get some personal strength. idk just a thought
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How I long to be up rather than down, the eternal sorrow that I only escape for short periods. This must be how Persephone felt. "Sleep. Those little slices of Death. How I loathe them." Edgar Allan Poe Loving yourself must come first from there comes love for everything else. |
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#3
Oct 06, 2010, 03:23 PM
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hi kat and welcome to pc!
 i'm not sure of what is going on but what i do know is cheating on someone doesn't speak well of the cheater!! since this has happened to you before, perhaps you are choosing the wrong kind of guy. like learning to pick one who is more decent to you and is considerate of others. justme, but i don't feel there is any reasonable cause for cheating except the person-cheater-is very selfish and self centered. what you may want to consider is why you seem to be choosing this type of guy. the other thing is are you in therapy? this type of thing can be explored more readily in that setting i believe.but we're always here for you too! 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#4
Oct 06, 2010, 07:07 PM
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Quote:
 You are not at fault... and please don't doubt yourself. If there are sexual issues he should have spoken to you about them.. let you know what he likes and you need to express your feelings to him also. Talking about sex may behard if you are feeling shy about it  Couples counselling an option? If you really want this relationship to work...Both of you need to WANT the relationship.
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 How I describe myself: Honest, caring, trustworthy, reliable and generous.
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