[A_Fine_Madness]

I want to reach out to my friends. I want them to understand just what's going on inside my head, but I haven't found just the way to do it in to make them really listen. I'm good with words when writing and even in my explanation of some things, but to do this fails me. My meds are out of whack (I see the doc Tuesday so I'll be back on the road to stable soon) so my moods are all over the place. Every time I talk to my friend "J" she changes the subject as soon as I pause. Typically she changes it to her budding relationship with this guy. My other friend "E" ignores me for the most part. There was a time we talked everyday now I talk to her barely twice a week. Perhaps I'm just being paranoid or maybe I am that difficult to manage.

Anybody have any advice on a good way to let them know what's going on and not feel like I'm being blown off???

[vs tyrant]

It's hard to say not knowing your condition. I will say though that I have ousted ALL of my friends as a result of my paranoia. I always felt/feel like they don't pay me the right amount of respect or attention as a friend. I always feel like I am a second-rate friend.

I know that alot of it has to do with my paranoia, but I still pushed them away. If I had it to do over again I wouldn't make the same mistake.

Good luck!