[miray]

Over the last couple years I have pretty much stayed to myself. I haven't really had any interest in dating. My self confidence isn't all that good but I am trying to work on that.

I used to date one of my very best friends in the entire world. We have kept in touch through all these years and he has always been one I turned to with relationship issues...or anything else and vise versa. He also has not dated in a few years.

His mom used to live quite a bit south of us. She now has alzheimer's and they (he and his brothers and their wives) have moved her in the apartment next to him so they can all keep an eye on her. He has a baby monitor at his apartment so he can keep a close eye on her. He sometimes catches conversations she has on the phone and say's with all that is going on and some of what he hears, it has given him a new appreciation for life. We are suppose to go a date this coming weekend.

Now I am soooo happy for him, and agree with everything he says. He seems to be getting back to the person he lost somewhere along the way. I am working on getting myself back as well.

So here is the question....do I just do..whatever and go with the flow? Or should I be a little more cautious and not make myself so vulnerable?

Thanks so much for reading all this...and if anyone has any advice...that would be great

[Belle1979]

Go with the flow and see where it leads... You know this man well.. there should be no hidden surprises (hopefully).

Good Luck.

Being vulnerable can be painful but doesn't mean that it is not a valid worthy feeling.

[Elana05]

Hi Miray,

Not sure if this is helpful but I actually was just told by my therapist:

"it is OK to be both strong and vulnerable."

Elana

I hope you have a nice date.

i'd take it one-step-at-a-time. rushing into things usually doesn't work well. if you haven't seen him in a long time i think it would be good to spend some time getting to know each other again and see if there is the possibility of something real there. i don't see being vulnerable as an all-or-nothing thing but something that increases over time as one's trust in a person grows. he obviously has a lot on his plate caring for his mom so he may or may not be in a place to get into something serious if that is what you are looking for.