[widgets]

I am so scared of things i know are going to happen, it makes me enjoy the present so much less.

Basically for the past 5 years i have had a small group of friends, Robert and Kerri being my 2 best friends. Me and robert moved in together 3 years ago and lived together for 2 and a half years, then he got his own flat and i moved back in with my mum, we also worked for oct 08 to aug 10, when i left work to go to college, still for the past 3 and half years we literally havent been more then 4/5 days without seeing each other. Then Kerri, she got a bf called James oct last year, he is also in our group of friends now and i love him almost as much as i love Kerri and Robert, but ever since they been together Kerri has been a totally different person, last night me and James completely fell out, and he is very, very volatile, so i cant see him wanting to be my friend again, he bears a grudge! I told Kerri she should of stood up for me, but she didnt, so i feel i have lost her too. I know in time me and Kerri will make up, this is only the 2nd time me and her have even fallen out.
I'm not going to apologise to them because i know that i have done nothing wrong, and James was in a nasty mood, plus i dont want them to know how much i need them by asking them to be my friend again when its them who should be apologising.
Then there is Jodie, who is Kerri's sister and her boyfriend Liam, who i love them both.
Anyway the point is, Robert is looking to move to London in February and that makes me feel sick, i dont actually think i will be able to live without him, Kerri is so under James' thumb that if me and him dont make up, me and Kerri will drift apart pretty quickly, and if me and Kerri arent friends maybe me and Jodie will also drift away from each other.
I love these people more than anything in the whole world and i cant imagine my life without them, i see at least one of them EVERY day, i have lots of other friends but i can never get close on the same level, feel myself, or be myself, we all have such a specific sense of humour, the right balance of shy people to confident people, funny people to quiet people, its just perfect.
And i know that this time next year it will be over.
Knowing that is actually killing me and i dont know what to do. I need Robert and i NEED Kerri. I hate the fact i am so dependant, but i have needed kerri for the past 8 yrs and robert for the last 4, they have both lived in my family home so i actually feel like they are my brother and sister.

I also have Bipolar, they put up with me amazingly.

[madisgram]

friendships can have their ups and downs. i know you feel left out right now or misunderstood but it will all work out like it's supposed to. i can see you value those friendships but try not to project the future...this year next time if you all get this sorted out you won't even remember perhaps what this was all over! so u see the outcome can be the exact opposite if what you are projecting.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/15-...e-distortions/
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/fix...e-distortions/

[widgets]

I have had CBT twice, and although i recognise a lot of my thinking is 'catastrophic thinking," i still feel its very vaild.
my best friend IS moving away, AND i WILL not be able to cope.

[widgets]

the evidence is, when he got a partner this time last year, even though we still lived together, i couldnt cope with it.

[sabby]

Hey widgets,

It's funny sometimes how we ruminate over relationships and how they will inevitably turn out some times from now. The truth is, we really DON'T know how they will turn out at this very moment.

I wonder if it might help you to consider what you can do for yourself should these situations come about? What can you do to prepare yourself so that you are not totally thrown off kilter and end up having a meltdown? What can you do to work on your independence now and in the future so that you don't feel you need someone so much? What can you do to learn to depend on yourself and not let yourself down?

You can always give yourselves time to cool down from the disagreement. You can take the high road and offer your hand of friendship once again. It doesn't mean you have to apologize for anything if you don't believe you were wrong. What you can say is that you don't think you were wrong but that you can agree to disagree and that you want to keep your friendship intact. We don't always see eye to eye in our relationships all the time. It doesn't mean that the relationship is over if you all want to keep it going

I hope it all works out for you widget. Please take good care of yourself!


sabby