Repetitive questioning!-help!¡!¡

I love my fiance to death and think he is the most amazing man in the world. For the past six month or more he asks me repetitive questions that I am now finding very uncomfortable answering. Our relationship is suffering because I get upset henasks menthe same questions over and I've again day in and day out. I begin answering his questions and when I want him to stop I tell him so but he keeps pushing me to where I rather blow up and cry or I just don't speak to him. I don't want to spend my life like this. Here are exAmples of what questions I get asked.

"do I have a big penis?"
"yes l,it's very big."
"have you ever seen a penis as big as mine?"
"no yours is the biggest."
"you're not just saying that?"
"no you're amazing."
"has anyone else made you feel this good?"
"so you're satin you like guys with big penis'"
"no, I'm saying I like your penis"

Or

"do you think I'm sexy?"
"am I he best guy you've been with?"
"dingo think my tattoos are sexy?"
"do you still have feelings for your ex? Was he better in bed?"
"have you ever had friends with benefits? Do you wish you were still with them?"

These questions are asked to me and other drastic question are asked on a daily basis. They make me feel uncomfortable and my fiance says he doesn't know how to stop!

He's asking them due to insecurity. Indulging him isn't going to do either of you any good. Tell him from now on you refuse to answer such questions. Let him know that it is taking a toll on the relationship and it puts you in a really unfair position. He needs to get to the bottom of his feelings of inadequacy, and doing so with a therapist would probably be best.

Don't get married until this issue is resolved entirely.

oh wow, sounds almost like the things mine said / asked / wanted to hear.

is in in counseling / therapy? does he have a PD? I know though that some people just have a bit of low esteem and some insecurities and they are normal enough, it's how far and deep does it go to the point of needing therapy and possibly suffering from some sort of PD.

for me, i thought ... at least at the time ... was to boost his ego, make him feel ... good about himself ... as he has a ... low esteem

but i know now it's also part of his PD ... possibly a combo of BPD, NPD, paranoia, etc ...

wish him to be better, let the "moment of clarity" last so he can get the help needed.

So he has only been asking these questions for the last 6 months? Before that, he didn't do this? I wonder what happened 6 months ago to precipitate this in him? Can you think of an event that might have lead him to be super insecure?

To me it sounds like he is very obsessive/compulsive about this. If he cannot stop it even after trying and trying, then it may be helpful for him to see a therapist who is experienced at working with clients who are OC.

Best of luck. I agree with Soul Quake about not getting married until this gets sorted out.

Hello Trishwa,

If your partner isn't in counslling now he really should be. He's sounding obsessive with compulsive tendencies and does need help. He must have had these thoughts floating around in his head for a fair while and his jealousy & insecurity about your previous partners bothers him a fair deal. I'm sorry you're having to go through this and I do really urge you and your partner to go into therapy.

Maybe it is time to take your friend off the pedestal you have him on so you can see who he really is?

Sorry this is happening but I found some humor in that conversation you wrote. I agree with all the posters but especially Soul Quake -tell him nicely that you won't engage in answering questions lie this. When he does it, remind him of your agreement and don't answer him.

I agree with Rhiannon, does he show any symptoms of OCD? He sounds very insecure and this is his problem not yours. If that were me, I turn it around and say "I don't know, what do you think" lol??

I agree with everyone. He is extremely insecure and those types of things can lead to mistrust or resentment. OR you resenting him for being so damn insecure! This needs to be nipped in the bud before it lasts for years because this type of thing can ruin a relationship.

The other thing I wanted to mention but put it off because I wasn't sure how it may be received is that men (and women) like this can tend eventually toward violence because they don't know how to handle their feelings if their questions aren't answered in a way that satiates their needs.

It really can start out curious, leads to need then escalates to confusion and anger. This personality is relying on you to fulfill their every need, literally and if you do not fall into that pattern willingly there can be a tendency to try to force you into it.

The one thing that really rang true was Byz's comment about taking your fiance off the pedestal and see him for who and what he really is before you marry him. His problem isn't innocent and it can be much more than simply irritating. If he does not gain his security it will escalate and that causes me concern for you.