[Myzen]

Hi folks,

I have just sent a couple of emails to new 3d acquaintances. They are nice people that I met through writer's groups and each of them has been getting more friendly over the last weeks.

Of course, this involves commitments that I won't be able to deal with, social events etc, the whole 'acceptance into their circle' kind of thing. One of the guys has even said 'I can't work you out' in a kindly way.

So the time comes when I give them the facts. Frankly I don't care much if they stay or go, I'm just tired of all the pretending. Even after years of working though this stuff, there is still the problem of how to present to people. I mean, I can't walk around with a placard round my neck saying - 'Caution - diagnosed person!', so I continue to behave normally, pick up acquaintances, and then have these moments of truth.

I'm fed up with it, but can't see a simple solution.

What do other people do?????

Cheers, M

alex.....i'm not sure that there is a simple solution.and then another part of me thinks....the solution is very simple....lol.......when i meet someone new.i rarely feel the need to make personnal disclosures.....afterall i don't ask that of others.....if in the course of a relationship something comes up...then i'll discuss it.if its not accepted as part of who i am....then bluntly...the hell with them!.....i have "social hangups" that may limit my social abilities but if someone can't see past that......see ya!

Myzen,

A writer who "tells it like it is" with their honest words, won't need to explain a thing.

I let people read my stuff. That's all they need to meet the real me.

Some will run.

Some will say, "thanks for sharing."

Petunia

[Myzen]

Hi Petunia and Butterfly,

A quick update. Out of the two emails I have had two different reactions. One guy understood perfectly. He said, "lean on me anytime" and there was no pressure from him beyond that.

The other guy was very kind but didn't really understand my position, he still wanted to involve me in social stuff, and he saw my being ill as 'isolating myself'. This is a common reaction.

Both of these guys are good people, it is just different conceptions. The conception that wanting to be alone is bad is very common indeed.

The best understanding of the challenges of the depressed person has been right here at PC, and with some health professionals, but not all of them.

Good thoughts, M

There is some support with the second guy. I mean, he is reaching out to you.
Sometimes it's nice to be pulled by the armsleeve to do things we really don't or feel we can't do.
I hope all goes well. It sounds like you've met a group of very nice people. You'll work through it.