[lokipooh]

I'm so confused me and my ex had called it quits and one night he told me to move on. I had met a guy that night I even gave him my number which something I never do. I always wondered if I was married I probably still given him my number. Well he texted me all night I prefer texting so I texted him back. We ended up setting up a place to meet the next day. I met him at a bar and was pretty tossed so I remembered he wore glasses so I waited for him to recognize me. He did, so we talked about what we wanted at the time. We agreed that we did not want a relationship just friends with benefits. Ok so I went with it given he was 24 and kinda shocked that I was 28.
He confuses me because he always wants me to spend the night and cuddle weird for me because my ex hated cuddling. I liked the guy so I would then after a few weeks he told me he loved me and wanted me to be his girlfriend. He drinks alot, pretty much blacks out every night. So when I told him about it the next morning he said he says alot of things when he's drunk. That I shouldn't listen to him. We started to hang out more and every night he'd tell me that he loved me he even told his friends I was his girlfriend one night after I gave in and told him I loved him too. I met him in aug last week I went to reno with a girlfriend he left a huge hickey on my neck really. He wants us to be friends with benefits but I stay the night and hang out with him. He has me so confused I don't know what to do with him I like him but I have problems I need to deal with and I haven't heard from him in 2 days. I haven't slept with him in a week what do I do now any suggestions?

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello loki,

Welcome to pc. In this situation I think you moved on far too rapidly. Moving on means making a fresh healthy start with yourself. Not a new full on dysfunctional relationship. And this one is dysfunctional to the point of dangerous for you.

The only way you will be able to move on and sort your self out is to work through your issues with support (psychotherapy or counselling therapy), and with the space to do so.

Honestly, no offence intended at all, I just very seriously believe that you should be thinking of and working on yourself. You deserve the best and "friends with benefits" is something that will deteriorate into something damaging for you as far as self etseem and confidence is concerned.

Please keep posting and allow us to support you,

Rhiannon