[nmata62]

I have a problem with my son. I was not able to be with him and care for him as I wanted when he was a child because I was a single parent and I was always working. Now that he is grown he has no expectations or goals for his life. He is not responsible in his job and thinks life is at his feet. That everything is easy and he is ready for the world. How do I make him understand. What tactict do I use to help my son be a man? It is hard for me to do since I am his mom. His dad was never involved with his up bringing. Help! I do not want my son to be a failure. Sincerely, NRM

[bpd2]

Tough one!!!!----How do we help another person understand responsibility and the necessity of hard work.................Maybe the key there is that we only help them understand. Life is doing the rest on its own, with its own wicked and brilliant ways....My kids like it best when I say "What I think might happen if you do x,y,z is this, but maybe it won't be like that for you because of A/B/C strengths you have...." In other words, they really, really like it when I talk about how they are good, not how they are bad. Because there are plenty of people to tell them how they're bad, but only their mama knows how hard it is for them to try to be good.....

[Rhiannonsmoon]

You don't say how old your son is, but most young people have the "world's at my feet" syndrome.

I would advise you if possible to let go of the desperation and let him rise or fall on his merits. Experience is the best teacher and at least he is not a criminal (Goddess forbid).

Give him the space to experience life on his own terms and then help him to pick up the pieces if that is needed.