[Lataloss113]

Hi Everybody out there! As I've been explaining all night on the Internet, I am distressed to say the least! I am a 44-year-old woman, single mother
of a 15-year-old boy, named Brandon.

Brandon's father decided to divorce me for another woman when Brandon
was just seven year's old! I begged him not to. My x-husband has been
through THREE (3) different wives since!!!! It's sad, but he put these
women ahead of his very own and ONLY son.

Regardless, I have shown Brandon NOTHING BUT love for all these years,
along with my elderly parents; we have given him nothing but love,
support, and as much happiness as we could.

Approx. 2 weeks ago, Brandon, out of nowhere I might add, called me
and basically divorced himself from me and my parents. Told me he
was no longer coming to see me, and I even said "May I please take
you to lunch sometime?" He said "no". I have come to the realization
that my x-hubby turned him against me and my family, and that my
son is nothing more than a brat. Sorry, but it's true. In the meantime,
I am falling to pieces, and so are my parents. My parents are in their
80's and lost my brother a year ago to a very sudden death. This is
not fair, but Brandon nor do my X care. I need help, before I sink
lower and lower, and Godforbid, decide that life is not worth living.
I believe it is! I believe happiness can be achieved, and I do NOT want
to give up, but I need help! Since my x divorced me and I had my
son, I was forced to give up the TWO Health Insurances that I had.
So now I have NO HEALTH INSURANCE, AND THEREFORE, NO WAY TO
SEE A PROFESSIONAL AS I SHOULD BE.

If there is ANYONE OUT THERE with a similar problem, maybe we can
help each other. I plan on talking with a priest in the meantime, if
only to perhaps help myself. I do not know what to do at this point.

Thank you! and God Bless All of You! Sincerely, Lori

[optimize990h]

Hi,Lataloss113.



It is good that you have joined the PC community. I hope you will find the necessary resources here at PC to assist you well. Here are a few links that may help you get started in finding answers to your questions and also help you network with others in similar circumstances to you.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/divor...eparation.html

Coping with Emotions - Forums at Psych Central

Depression - Forums at Psych Central

Grief and Loss - Forums at Psych Central

[hamster-bamster]

I am in a somewhat similar situation - my ex (formally, soon to be ex, but in reality, separated since 2009) husband has alienated our two daughters (who live with him) from me. They both have birthdays this month and neither one has contacted me. In the past, they wrote letters to me saying that they did not want contact. The ex H has not remarried (unfortunately...) or anything, has no relationships or a job, and basically spends his entire time brainwashing our daughters. For now, I am powerless. Numerous people including professionals have advised me that eventually the children would get out of the mind control of their dad and would see the situation through their own eyes, but it would take time. So I have hope. I am no longer suicidal because of it and I no longer place my physical survival in any sort of dependency on the contact with my daughters. Even if they never contact me, I would feel good knowing that while I lived with them, I gave them lots of love and support - as you did to Brandon. The midwife who caught the younger child even says that the daughters should be grateful that I gave birth to them. You cannot make a 15 year old child even think along the lines of "where did I come from and who birthed me into this world?", but with time and maturation, one has hope that Brandon will come to appreciate the unconditional love and support that you and your elderly parents have always given him.

Please stay in this world - there will be many good things in this world for you and many people will be touched by your presence in this world in a positive way, provided that you stay alive.

[Leed]

Bless your heart ~ Please believe me when I say that Brandon WILL come to his senses when he gets a little older.

My granddaughter always thought that I was "evil" even though I was always there for her, always helped her out of 'sticky' situations with her mother, always talked her mother out of being too harsh with her, and always had my grandaughter 'back.' Still my granddaughter thought I was the 'evil' one. She hated me and wasn't too shy to SHOW me that she did.

This went on for years, and it tore my heart out! I loved her so. And she and her mom LIVED with me for 10 years!!! So I saw it every day!

Finally, when she was 17, out of the blue -- she came to me crying, falling apart, and saying how SORRY she was for treating me so horribly all those years! I was so surprised! But she bared her heart, and knew she'd been wrong. What happened was she finally GREW UP!!

Your son will SEE what is the truth and what isn't too, when he gets older! Right now, he's just too young. He's too immature and can't make up his own mind. But HE WILL. And he'll come back to you -- NO DOUBT!

Also, Please call the "Free Health Hotline" 1-800-348-8754. They should be able to help you. I'm not sure, but I've see it advertised on TV for people who do not have health insurance. Call and see what it's all about. Best of luck and God bless! Hugs, Lee

I agree with the other posts. Your child will probably come back to you. A 15 year old is impressionable, and if your ex is a force, then the child will listen, even if he is spouting lies. You hear of so many kids that think for themselves when they get older, and hopefully this is what your son will do too.

I know that you have no medical insurance, try what Leed says. And I hope that you can talk things through with your parents, and be each others support over this hard time. Talking can help, especially with your parents who understand the situation and miss their grandson.

Big hugs

[Travelinglady]

Welcome! I agree with the other folks. Especially since he is a male, I think your son wants to get to know his dad. He has missed out on that relationship. At least he will have this experience. I think one of these days he will appreciate you more.

[Daylight003]

Hi Lataloss113 ~

Sorry for what you're going through... Just wanted to give you some words of encouragement.

Your son WILL come to his senses in time. I know our situations are different but there once was a time where (in some twisted way) I felt that my mother was always there to support me, however unbeknownst to me my version of reality was really distorted... My mother would always be little my father and make him out to be the 'bad guy'. Eventually overtime I was brainwashed into thinking that he didn't care about me and 'this that' and 'the other'... Whatever she said was true.

Now presently, (after realizing the truth and deciding to live with my father and not my mother), he shared a distant yet distinctive memory with me. He told me how there was a day when a friend, who had witnessed my mothers out of order behavior, said to him "don't worry, one day when the children are older, they will understand..." And now, I am an adult, and I do finally understand.

I know it's hard... You've done nothing wrong and you don't deserve to be treated this way. But your son WILL see the truth in due time. *Hugs ~

[james70]

i agree with them as well i have kids who wont talk to me because of things that happend but slowly but shurely they come around when they get older.and your son will see the light just hang in there...