[einundzwanzig]

I have a dilemma, and I never thought I would be in this position. I am not one to struggle with relationship issues. I've always been objective/matter-of-fact about them. Never get too emotionally attached, keep a clear head etc. But there is this guy in one of my classes (ethics no less) who I really have grown fond of. He is smart and witty and he actually knows what he's talking about when it comes to philosophical issues. Him and I are practically the only ones that ever contribute in class because everyone else is not with-it enough lol. It is 8 in the monring granted lol. No less, this guy is married and I don't want or even remotely desire to be with him due to this fact alone. He's just so... I don' know what the english word is.. excting to be with?? He's got this mystery about him, I can't figure him out, all I know is no wonder he is married, how could he not be? lol.

I know I can never be with him more than just friends, and someone to talk about philisophical/political or current events with. But a little part of me wants to be more than that and I know that it will never happen. How can I just move on and not let this affect me? Like I said, I am a level-headed person, not emotional when it comes to these things but this one has really got me thinking...

I think about him, fantasize about him moving with me back to Germany, after I graduate, living together etc. These fantasies are hard to get rid of... any ideas? I know he doesn't know how I feel about him, although I want to tell him so bad, but I don't want to risk the friendhship. However, I do know that he finds me attractive based on comments he's made to me, basically saying if he was single he'd be with me. This made me want him even more, so I wrote a poem about my feelings for him- it's in German but he'd appreciate it (although he doesn't know any German lol), I've been so tempted to read it to him/give it to him but haven't -ugh I'm so frustrated... what is a girl to do... ? Like I said this is all new to me, so any help on this relationship stuff is appreciated.

21

[eskielover]

My opinion......It's not right to have a relationship that will even remotely take his thoughts away from his marriage. If you can't control yourself & your emotions about this situation, you need to leave it alone. It's not right for you to even tempt him to get distracted from his marriage....you know it's wrong morally & ethically. If you can't control your relationship or your feelings & keep them to just the classroom communication, you need to drop it & just leave him alone.

[Alyssa1986]

Take it from someone who is dealing with a guy who is married you don't want to put yourself in that situation.. It's hard to handle and the fact that you know he is.. He is going to eventually have you limit your life and be totally obligated to him when you already know that he obligated to someone else.. Men can't deal with there women talking to another guy even if they are married and if you talked to him more and found out okay he seperated or something to that effect then it could possibly work.. But if he cheats on his wife he will cheat on you

Originally Posted by einundzwanzig

I have a dilemma, and I never thought I would be in this position. I am not one to struggle with relationship issues. I've always been objective/matter-of-fact about them. Never get too emotionally attached, keep a clear head etc. But there is this guy in one of my classes (ethics no less) who I really have grown fond of. He is smart and witty and he actually knows what he's talking about when it comes to philosophical issues. Him and I are practically the only ones that ever contribute in class because everyone else is not with-it enough lol. It is 8 in the monring granted lol. No less, this guy is married and I don't want or even remotely desire to be with him due to this fact alone. He's just so... I don' know what the english word is.. excting to be with?? He's got this mystery about him, I can't figure him out, all I know is no wonder he is married, how could he not be? lol.

I know I can never be with him more than just friends, and someone to talk about philisophical/political or current events with. But a little part of me wants to be more than that and I know that it will never happen. How can I just move on and not let this affect me? Like I said, I am a level-headed person, not emotional when it comes to these things but this one has really got me thinking...

I think about him, fantasize about him moving with me back to Germany, after I graduate, living together etc. These fantasies are hard to get rid of... any ideas? I know he doesn't know how I feel about him, although I want to tell him so bad, but I don't want to risk the friendhship. However, I do know that he finds me attractive based on comments he's made to me, basically saying if he was single he'd be with me. This made me want him even more, so I wrote a poem about my feelings for him- it's in German but he'd appreciate it (although he doesn't know any German lol), I've been so tempted to read it to him/give it to him but haven't -ugh I'm so frustrated... what is a girl to do... ? Like I said this is all new to me, so any help on this relationship stuff is appreciated.

21