[IceCreamKid]

Long story short, Coworker A talks nonstop about her panic attacks and now anxious she is, inbetween other stories that are so fantastic they are hard to believe (I don't want to say here, what some of those stories have been, but they're highly unlikely to have been the truth); Coworker B whispers behind boss' back about how stressed and overworked she is (which she blames on the boss) and appears to have decided on the remedy of calling in sick 2-3 times a week. Coworker C (for chump) is me; I have to re-do the work of Coworker A and do the piled up work of Coworker B. I recognize I am paid by the hour and not the piece and I want to be sensitive to what are clearly mental health issues of both A and B. But is allowing this to continue the best response? I've said nothing confrontational to A (in part because she has indicated that if she is crossed in any way she has an attack) and up until this past week I'd been sympathetic to B, but enough gets to be enough in claiming she is overworked. She is no longer overworked; I know this because I am the one doing the work. I feel as though the boss expects me to play along in the fiction that Coworker B is pulling her own weight. I'm sure she did in the past, and I do believe she was overworked, but I see her now settling comfortably into letting me carry my load and hers. Is it best to just keep telling myself 'by the hour, not the piece'? I'm cool with that, but would have a hard time pretending any sympathy for someone I think is taking advantage of me. If someone's way of dealing with stress is to throw it off onto someone else, is it really helping them to allow them?

[madisgram]

hi kid, lots of work places have this unfortunate situation as u do. r u comfortable speaking with your boss about this? u could ask him/her what procedures/policies are used for either sharing the work vs. you do your work and they do their's. i'd also state you are willing to help out in the office but you're not sure how to proceed since it occurs often. this takes you out of the arena of talking with the co-workers about this. it also may put your superior on notice about what is happening if it's not policy. you don't want this to build up inside cause it will eat at you.
hope this helps.

[ECHOES]

Don't underestimate your boss and what is going on behind the scenes that you don't know, meaning that your co-workers' performance and attendance are being noted by your boss.

Keep doing the good job you are doing, without complaint and you will emerge the victor.
Employees with poor behavior, poor performance, and excessive absenteeism are orchestrating their own exit, even if you see no evidence of that.

When you are overwhelmed with work for any reason, it is okay to let your boss know that, without placing blame, just acknowledging how much you have to do. Managers need to know this because it is their job to manage the work and meet the deadlines.

All that said, I can understand that you are in a difficult spot between worker A and B, but you are not a chump -- you are a valuable employee!

[IceCreamKid]

I think you misunderstood my point, and I respectfully disagree with good work being some guaranteed path to success. Today, I think there are probably plenty of good workers in the unemployment lines and plenty of crummy layabouts who are chums with the boss still drawing a salary. The reality is that I get paid by the hour, so if I do 1 'piece' or 300 it really makes no difference in my salary; what I will have extreme trouble doing is kissing the rear end of Coworker B when she whines and moans about how horribly stressful her life is (when she can decide at any moment she's going to stay home all day). I simply don't want to hear it. I want to be sensitive to Coworker B, because I do believe she thinks she is under stress (forget the fact that she could deal with it in more constructive ways) but I don't want to enable her to continue doing what she is doing by my spoken agreement to her false claims of being overworked. As for "behind the scenes" I probably should have mentioned that the boss discusses confidential matters right in front of everyone and what I clearly heard her say was basically that she is complicit in these absences. Coworker A I'm staying away from, considering that one of her stories was that during her last panic attack she became violent; and that she gets violent with anyone who "thwarts" her when she is having an attack (she was telling someone else this, I didn't say a word, but just kept working). I don't care if she says she is marrying Prince William wearing a tutu next week, I'm keeping my head down around her, and the more I think about it, re-doing her work is a small price to pay for her not to flip out and start throwing punches. I know better than to complain; there ain't no crying in baseball and there ain't no complainin' where I work. We're all happy, happy campers, and everything is beautiful and wonderful and what not and "what the --- is the matter with you" if you notice anything that is askew. I'm just trying to get through the day without nonstop misery, and the number one reason I feel so cruddy is having to put up with unreality shoved in my face and being forced to kiss it and say how real it tastes. As for the company noticing (eventually) all the absences, as near as I can tell there is rampant cheating on timekeeping (not just in my area) and that the cheating isn't confined to my low level but extends up the ladder to a much higher level than mine. The company did try to address this several years ago, but the mechanisms they put in place actually make it easier to cheat with less risk of being caught. That isn't to say everyone cheats; I don't and I know others who don't, but I know just as many who, if they are claiming they are working a full week, are just not being truthful. So to get back to my point, I want to be supportive of Coworker B's feelings of stress, but I think it is enabling to allow her to continue to avoid addressing the cause(s) by allowing her to continue to say to my face, when she does show up, how horribly overworked she is.

[SakuraLi]

Hi icecreamkid, there`s a lot of "office politics" going on for sure. u can be supportive and not enable either. Let the coworker say what they have 2 say. But learn how not to internalize that bs. As hard as it can be sometimes we have to let go of worrying how stupid- behaving a person is. You dont have contol over her perceptions of how she feels, you only have control over how u feel and u can make a conscious effect to detatch and remove ur emotions from dealing with her. u can outwardly be kind to her but inward work on not letting her excuses trouble u. for example, if u tend to be like saying "there, there it will be ok" change the response 2, "I`m sorry you feel that way" i know its a little bit colder but u have to get away from being so outwardsly supportive and move to a neutral response. thats just my opinion though.

[danvb]

Right now, I think the only question I have is, how is your work product being evaluated? You said that you are an hourly employee, but is someone keeping track of your productivity level IE: work assigned versus work completed?
To me, that is the determining factor as to how you should respond to the situation.

Are the "slackers" bringing YOUR work evaluation down or not?

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by SakuraLi

Hi icecreamkid, there`s a lot of "office politics" going on for sure. u can be supportive and not enable either. Let the coworker say what they have 2 say. But learn how not to internalize that bs. As hard as it can be sometimes we have to let go of worrying how stupid- behaving a person is. You dont have contol over her perceptions of how she feels, you only have control over how u feel and u can make a conscious effect to detatch and remove ur emotions from dealing with her. u can outwardly be kind to her but inward work on not letting her excuses trouble u. for example, if u tend to be like saying "there, there it will be ok" change the response 2, "I`m sorry you feel that way" i know its a little bit colder but u have to get away from being so outwardsly supportive and move to a neutral response. thats just my opinion though.

Thank you for your response. I think you make perfect sense. When she whinges and moans and/or stays away 'sick', I know I'll be too busy working doing my job and hers to let it bother me. I so agree with you that I have no control over her, and if I left the impression I wanted control over her, that was my mistake. I would like some control over me, however. I see my course of action now. Thanks again.

[salukigirl]

It sounds like you are a peace keeper. You empathize with people and want to be the one to save the day. I'm assuming this because I'm the same way. It's so hard for me to let people fail. Even when it's not remotely my responsibility. As far as the coworker who talks constantly about panic attacks....no offense...but that sounds like a lot of attention grabbing. No one at my work knows a thing about my panic attacks. Because I don't want people like you feeling obliged to take over for work I miss. It's my responsibility. It doesn't sound like this person takes responsibility for themselves and wants to push blame on others.

In that case, there is nothing you can do but focus on yourself. Don't run yourself into the ground for this person. It's also not really your place to say anything to them, or your boss.

Good example: This kid was accepted into my department as a phd student this past fall. I hated him at first and assumed it was just personality differences. Now, 2 semesters in, he doesn't do jack either. So, not only is he a total douche, but he doesn't work either. Blames everything on other people. Acts like he is above others and is so much smarter than everyone else but doesn't do ANYTHING! Everyone is mad at him but there isn't much we can do. I refuse to cover for him and haven't said anything to our chair. I just watch him run himself into the ground and, honestly, will be really surprised if he is here in the fall.

You can't keep covering for people who don't take responsibility for themselves because it will affect you.

I see you said you have decided on your course of action. I hope everything works out for the best. My only advice is focus on YOU!!

[SakuraLi]

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

Thank you for your response. I think you make perfect sense. When she whinges and moans and/or stays away 'sick', I know I'll be too busy working doing my job and hers to let it bother me. I so agree with you that I have no control over her, and if I left the impression I wanted control over her, that was my mistake. I would like some control over me, however. I see my course of action now. Thanks again.

I am glad I could help, I know for me personally I've had times where I've internalized the conflicts that co-workers have involved me in.

Just to clarify, I didn't mean to imply that you wanted control over her, I just meant it in terms of you helping yourself begin to distance yourself from her drama.

I know for myself, if I remind myself that I can't control how a person acts towards me, I can only control how I act towards them, it helps me put things in perspective.

Anyway take care and good luck.

[SakuraLi]

Originally Posted by salukigirl

It sounds like you are a peace keeper. You empathize with people and want to be the one to save the day. I'm assuming this because I'm the same way. It's so hard for me to let people fail. Even when it's not remotely my responsibility. As far as the coworker who talks constantly about panic attacks....no offense...but that sounds like a lot of attention grabbing. No one at my work knows a thing about my panic attacks. Because I don't want people like you feeling obliged to take over for work I miss. It's my responsibility. It doesn't sound like this person takes responsibility for themselves and wants to push blame on others.

In that case, there is nothing you can do but focus on yourself. Don't run yourself into the ground for this person. It's also not really your place to say anything to them, or your boss.

Good example: This kid was accepted into my department as a phd student this past fall. I hated him at first and assumed it was just personality differences. Now, 2 semesters in, he doesn't do jack either. So, not only is he a total douche, but he doesn't work either. Blames everything on other people. Acts like he is above others and is so much smarter than everyone else but doesn't do ANYTHING! Everyone is mad at him but there isn't much we can do. I refuse to cover for him and haven't said anything to our chair. I just watch him run himself into the ground and, honestly, will be really surprised if he is here in the fall.

You can't keep covering for people who don't take responsibility for themselves because it will affect you.

I see you said you have decided on your course of action. I hope everything works out for the best. My only advice is focus on YOU!!

Hi SakuliGirl, thanks for sharing. I just had to make a comment in response to your experience with the slacker PhD student. I've observed this very same thing about people thus far in my life and you know what?

I have always seen these people weasel and connive their way through anything! They can some how manage to make the right people believe that the sky is NOT falling if it really was. Those people never seem to fail because they are master manipulators, someone will just enable them and help them. Not everyone, mind you but some will. I've never see a one of them get their comeuppance yet!