[cutebagaddict08]

I think this is more of a vent.....

In my husband and my group of friends there is two couples who recently got engaged and are planning weddings with in the next 3 years. Another couple recently became pregnant. (Then there's us and another couple who got married 2-3 years ago; and a few single guys in our group.) We all know about the upcoming weddings and pregnancy...everyone has equally shared their congrats with the 3 couples. Now, I went to dinner yesterday with one of the engaged couples and the couple expecting. The 'father to be' ranted about how his news is so much more imporant then getting married, and that the other engaged couple needs to realize this....and that u'll never know until you have a child, blah blah blah. (This is the first couple to have a kid in our group.) I just like stared at tim, and was like both getting married and having a kid are important events...... (and the weird thing is they didn't even tell anyone in the group they were pregnant, we found out on facebook- and these are people we stood up at their wedding, hang out with them when everyone's schedules allow, etc.) I just couldn't believe the father to be trying to make it into a contest.

[Perna]

It's just his point of view because of where he is at in life. Do you remember when you were a teenager and the first couple in your group learned to drive and you saw them in a car, driving? All "new" social experiences cause the same focus and is like looking for a new car and suddenly seeing just that make/model/color car?

I would just agree/diffuse your friend, pat him on the shoulder and say something like, "Yes, we can't wait to have a child," and/or tease him about "You'll be in just the right spot to advise and babysit for us!" Just agree with him in some way, "Yes, yes, we know you're the proud papa-to-be!"

[cutebagaddict08]

We all have talked about it every time we see the expecting couple....believe me we've heard about it 24/7. He's made some comments to me about how he won't care about any upcoming events like weddings, bdays,(we all try to go out to dinner or something when someone in the group has a birthday usally). He flat out told me he is not going to care about my birthday because his baby is due that month- and that comment came out of no where-because they are not as important. I'm happy for them, I just don't like how the father to be is now thinking everyone else's news is not good enough (which it may not be exciting has his, but everyone has stuff going on in their lives). The mother to be is talking about it but not in the same way the father to be is, she's not throwing it in our faces that they are going to be parents and we are not.
__________________________

Originally Posted by Perna

It's just his point of view because of where he is at in life. Do you remember when you were a teenager and the first couple in your group learned to drive and you saw them in a car, driving? All "new" social experiences cause the same focus and is like looking for a new car and suddenly seeing just that make/model/color car?

I would just agree/diffuse your friend, pat him on the shoulder and say something like, "Yes, we can't wait to have a child," and/or tease him about "You'll be in just the right spot to advise and babysit for us!" Just agree with him in some way, "Yes, yes, we know you're the proud papa-to-be!"

[cutebagaddict08]

I feel sometimes that the 'father to be' is throwing it in my face because he knows my husband and I are not ready to have children. My husband and I are not sure if we want children, and have decided to wait.

[Soul Quake]

You'd think such an event would make a person a bit more mature. What an attention starved loon. Hopefully the kid takes after the mother.

[salukigirl]

I hate it when people make stuff a competition like that. A kid in my dept does that with everything. I just don't like one-uppers. It's like....if you had a bad day, they've had a worse one. If you just got an award, they got an even BIGGER award!

I'm sure it's just from jealousy. He wants all the attention on them. I have known people who claim that their girl friend got pregnant BECAUSE she was getting married! Like they think that someone is using a child to compete with a wedding! And I have also known people who have specifically waited for something else to calm down to give their good news. Like one of my friends who had just gotten engaged waited to tell her friend bc that friend had just gotten divorce papers served to her from her husband. So she waited so that her friend could have her grieving period and not feel like she was trying to 'hog the attention'.

[Leed]

My gosh ~ this guy sounds like he's still in high school. I'm not sure he should be HAVING a child. He's not mature enough to handle it. What a nut!!

[cutebagaddict08]

Yes, it's very weird. The 'father to be' has never handled news like this before. (His wife has, but now his wife is totally backing off with this issue, and he's doing it.)
I'm thinking it could because this is the one thing that this couple has that none of the other people in our group has experienced- all other life stuff-we've all completed around the sametime. Oh well. I figure my best bet is just to ignore him.