[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

So I've been dating a man for about 16 months now. We live together, we do everything together. He makes me laugh more than anyone else ever has, he makes me happier then I thought was possible and is more understanding than I ever could have hoped for. Day one of meeting me and my aunt decided to tell him my whole life story (she is one of the abusers from my past who is no longer in my life). She is only a year older than me and ALWAYS jealous, so naturally she tried to ruin it before the relationship began. I'm talking first hour into meeting the man and she already tried to ruin it. She told him all about my past and all about my illness'...
That was a fun night when I decided to come clean with him on date 3 and tell him all of the things I was dx'd with, he only went on to tell me he already knew. He asked questions I gave answers and told him almost everything and in time, he has come to learn most everything about me... Just not the current me 100%...
He doesn't know that I am still hearing things, he doesn't know I'm on PC all the time and he doesn't know that I have been having plackouts from my DID around him. Thankfully they have only been seconds long as opposed to the hours I'm used to. I know he will understand if I tell him this, he will be there for me and reassure me that things will be fine. He's such a good man.
Why am I having such a difficult time telling him what is going on with me? What is in my head? His family is so perfect (not at all actually but they have made themselves perfect the best they could) they are so normal, everything I wished to have when I was his moms age. He seems so normal, so full of life and happy and such a well spoken outgoing person, unlike myself. I'm afraid of what he will think if he knew, I know he wont look down on me for it but it doesn't stop me from feeling like he will. There is so much going on upstairs and I don't know what to do about it in reguards to him. Do I tell him I spent nearly 8 hours on PC at work today? Do I tell him I watch DID movies all the time or that I am posting in the schizophrenia forum and DID forum all about things I'm experiencing that he has no clue how to understand?
I don't know what to do, I am in love with this man, still 16 months later and he makes me wake up with a smile on my face. Unmedicated at that. As a person with DID schizophrenia manic depression and a number of other things, waking up with a smile can change your world when it happens every day and that is what this man did. I just don't want to lose him because of the uncontrollable chaos in my head! Help PLEASE!!! Any advice please?!

[KathyM]

Hi PFM

He loves you and is already aware of the struggles you face. I don't think it's necessary for you to go into any details because it's not necessary for him to understand every aspect of you or your disease. It could be overwhelming to him because his love for you would make him feel obligated to make things right for you, which is impossible.

Share what you need to share with him, but try not to burden him with things he won't be able to fix for you. He's your man - he's not your doctor, therapist or parent.

It's nice to know your man causes you to wake up with a smile on your face.