[salukigirl]

How many times do you have to hear "I'm sorry" before you just stop believing it? I'm sure some people are getting sick of hearing me complain about my bf. For months he will go back and forth. Sometimes I will make a joke and he thinks it's funny. Other times he will flip. He would start going off calling me names, flipping me off, telling me to go **** myself, mocking me etc...

So a couple months ago was the last straw. I told him 'you are going to therapy if you want even a sliver of a chance of saving this' and he started going. Went through the whole thing apologizing, saying he never wanted to hurt me blah blah. And for a couple months it really did get better.

Then last night happened......we went out with several other people to play pool. The whole time he's giving me 'tips' on how to shoot pool. 1) I'm good at pool - better than him actually. 2) I like to make an *** of myself and laugh at myself. So sometimes I just do stupid things like try a trick shot behind my back because it's funny. Not because I give a crap about who wins or the score.

I let that go. Then we all went to a restaurant and we're all hanging out drinking beer. Anyone who knows me knows how lewd I am. I burped. Big surprise. So he taps my leg and does the whisper yell thing "don't burp!".

So when we got in the car to leave I asked what was up with him tonight. He was quiet the whole time, didn't talk to anyone and was nagging me about stupid stuff. Immediately he goes off screaming at me to just '****ing stop'.

At this point, if I back down that's him winning and putting me down. I will not stop because you are screaming at me. If you want a civil argument, you better be civil to me. I refuse to sit back and be yelled at for no reason and just be subservient and do whatever he wants.

So I told him that if he was gonna act like that I was gonna go back to the bar and hang out with my friends. Normally I would just drive around for 5 mins, calm down and come back. But he started calling me....over and over. Literally 30 missed calls and 8 texts. In less than an hour period. Once I answered and he just started screaming so I hung up.

Finally I get home, go upstairs....my pillow is across the room, my penguin pillowpet (which my mom got me for christmas) was across the room and I couldn't find my phone charger. So I asked him where my charger was and he pulled the pillow over his head and said "no, I'm running away just like you did" and refused to tell me what he did with it.

Then when I gave up and plugged it into my laptop he comes out screaming again. Called me two-faced, mocked me etc... When I don't back down I get "ohhhh you're such a big girl aren't you?!" So that really hurt and god forbid I cry....so what does he do? Calls me a crybaby.

I tried to go outside for a cigarette and he followed me, wouldn't let me shut the door and was yelling at me OUTSIDE at 1 AM!!

Keep in mind the last time this happened I said "I'm not threatening you but you need to know, if this continues to happen, I'm leaving. I will not let you treat me like this anymore". He begged and pleaded like always. Then this time he goes "so you're gonna let one night ruin our relationship?!"

It's like he doesn't realize this isn't one night....bc I don't know how many times I've heard him say that! I've heard him say "oh so you're just gonna throw it all away over one fight" about 20 times. So now it's not one night anymore....it's 20 nights.....

Anyways....he called his T and asked for an emergency appt so we're going tomorrow at 2 pm. I just don't know what to do. I told him I was going to talk to our landlord about getting a 1 bedroom by myself and for him to start looking for his own place.

Then today he texts me telling me how sorry he is and how he is looking at phd programs. Like that is supposed to make up for everything? I feel like he is bipolar or something. It's impossible to tell how he will react to anything. Sometimes he laughs and sometimes he goes off like what I just said. I don't know when to just stop and kick him out.

[RomanSunburn]

<huuugs> I just wanted you to know that we're all here supporting whatever decision you make. We all want you to do what is best for YOU, not for anyone else.

[salukigirl]

Apparently my boyfriend got on here and looked for me talking about him. Awesome. Now I can't even post on here. Wonderful.