[lily58]

I have been in love with a priest for the last 8 years and this love is shared. Since the beginning of our relationship which was almost platonic,
i have been suffering "the hell" in matter of frustrations and facing a lot of health's problems. This priest wants to "sanctify" his love for me and in spite of his struggling, he does not want physical demonstrations of love any more. I have been obsessed by him since we met but this
relationship has reached a point of non-return where there is no other solution
than accepting his wishes or to leave him. I feel i am in the impossibility to leave him and also unable to change the nature of my love for him and most of all the idea to lose him became a phobia. Actually i live in a country where is it impossible to find an affordable psychologist. Your advises would be helpful to me.

[lynn P.]

I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I used to belong to this faith but coverted to a different religion for marriage purposes. I never could understand why they wouldn't allow priests to be married - I think it's an absurd rule. What do you mean he wants to sactify your relationship?

Would he be willing to join a branch Christian religion, that does allow marriage? If he doesn't want to do this and fulfill your relationship completely, then I think you deserve better. He could still be a religious leader but just wouldn't be in that specific religion. Sooner or later you have to look out for your happiness. I'm sorry you're torn by this. I never could understand why any faith would expect another human to deny their physical desires.

[Martin^^]

Sorry to read of your plight Lily.
I have read of many other women who fall for priests and it seldom ends well for them.
Unfortunately, if he feels unable to give up his vocation, you will be stuck forever in a relationship where your needs can never be met. I do not just mean sex. Even emotionally he can never be that close to you. It comes with the job - he has taken vows of obedience which mean he will always have to put the demands of his position before you.
If his bishop discovers that his relationship with you is threatening his vocation, he may decide to transfer him to another parish to 'protect' him from your influence.
Being in love with a priest is a bit like falling for a gay man - it is pretty much a dead end. Things can change, but more often they don't...
Women who become involved with priests also get little sympathy from the church.
Like Lynn, I am a former Catholic and cannot understand the policy of celibacy, along with about a thousand other things.
Sorry I cannot be more encouraging. If you Google 'women in love with priests' or similar, you will find websites containing many stories like yours.

[Omers]

I have been dubbed a Methodist Catholic by my favorite priest. I was so relieved to read your post. The priest in my life is wonderful and while not the same I do have a wicked crush on him. Priest or not I am not the kind of woman he would seek an intimate relationship with. There are huge differences in age, socioeconomic status and IQ that, I feel, would doom things anyway. I do however use my relationship with him as the yardstick by which I judge other men I allow in my life... I want that kind of man. Anyway, I know it isn't the same and I don't have any wonderful pearls of wisdom but know that you are not alone. Oh... and... Urggg... The Pope does need to change things so that priests can marry! in my not so humble opinion