[avirup2008]

I feel my life is on auto-pilot.

Ever since the girl I loved left me, I am on the brink of two emotions- deep seated grief that wishes I did not exist and the responsible side that reminds me I have obligations to people as well as other responsibilities.

I am somewhere in between, on a fragile bridge that would break any moment.

On the outside I'm what people look for. A comforting voice, someone to listen and one who genuinely tries to help others.

I try to be a good son, a good friend and perhaps a better human being.

Inside, there is this dark remnant that feeds through my fears and insecurities. Her memories keep blinding my thoughts from time to time, forcing me to isolate myself from others.

My responsibilities pull me back when others need me.

I genuinely believe that I have become a purposeless entity. I cannot move forward and a part of me does not want to any more. Darkness and negativity have become the new definition of my personality.

I exist because I have to. Not because I want to.

I don't know where I'm headed but I know that it's not me.

It won't be me anymore...

[Warrioress]

It's so hard and painful! I know exactly what you mean because I'm almost exactly there right now. I think it's great that you feel responsible about those around you and that you try to help them when they need it, but you can't keep that mask on for a long time if you don't fix things properly.

There is no purposeless entity in my opinion. Everything has a purpose and it's up to you to find yours. Please don't give up.

[Leed]

Hi - Warrioress is right ~ You DO have a reason for being here -- you just haven't discovered what it is yet. We have ALL been put here for a reason. It takes time to find out what our reason is.

Your life isn't defined by some lost love -- no one's life is that shallow! Your life is much more important than that! God put you here for much more important things than that. It's up to you to find out what it is. It took me years before I discovered what my "lot in life" was. But I finally figured it out.

Sure, you've been hurt by some girl. It happens to millions of people. But that certainly wasn't your sole purpose for being here. God didn't put you here just so you could meet this girl. You'll get over her -- believe me, you will. And you'll find out the true reason you're here - and you'll be off on your mission! God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[nice girl]

Wow...... I have never ever felt this dark side of u but even if there is a dark side of u it's a part of u.. U r a person who put's others in front of himself and really cares about others.... u r awesome.... u r a perfect being..... so hope u get a great girl.. have a gr8 future ahead.. i wish u never get upset and have happy days in ur life..