[Detia]

I figured that this is perhaps the right section on the forum to go to ask for any advice on this situation.

So here's some background information, followed by the issue that I'm having.

I found myself in a position where my mental health was declining so much that I was concerned for my overall well being. Basically I was suffering severe depression to the point where I was concerned for my life. I relied on the support offered here on PC and the support of my friends and family. However as supportive and helpful both proved to be, it simply wasn't enough for me to feel like I could pull through. My friends were becoming increasingly worried about me, and I isolated myself from family.

So I finally decided that, in order to survive from myself, I needed to get professional help.

I actually took the steps to do research about my options for professional help. I made the phone calls to get my questions answered, and I made sure that I could afford treatment for however long it would take to get better. Or at least... At this point my insurance covers the treatment without detracting from my family.

That's another part of the background, I live with my mother and 9 year old sister. I'm 18.

Now the issue. I did all of this without telling my mother that I was going to get a therapist or treatment. I also got a psychiatrist and am currently on Lexapro and I feel that this combination of therapy and this single medication is helping me exponentially. I am no longer in fear for my mental health or life.

However my T believes it would be good to tell my mom that I'm going to therapy. It would reduce a lot of stress about how I get to and from my sessions. Now, why I find it so difficult to tell my mom: A lot of times timing can be everything. "Time and place for everything" is something I grew up with. Now the household suffers a lot of stress and concerns. My mom is always concerned (like most parents) about being a good parent.

She experiences a lot more pressure being a single mom and having trouble finding a job. Also she was a teen parent. Stress has gone through the roof recently due to extra financial issues and unsavory social dynamics cropping up from her past.

So when I am home from running around with friends, she's often busy or really stressed out. Or my younger sister is around. I'm just wondering if anyone has any suggestions. I have to talk to her face to face about this, writing a letter won't go over well. I tried that when I first talked to her about being seriously depressed. I didn't get in trouble or anything, we talked about what was going on a little... However I know she prefers face-to-face. That's how we grew up so...

Yeah! Basically I'm wondering if anyone has any experiences they would like to share similar to this... Or if there's any sort of advice that could help me find a potentially easier way to approach her about this.

Thank you very much for any input that you give, and for taking the time to read my looong post.

Hello, Detia. I commend you for getting treatment. Perhaps asking your mother if she recalls your previous discussion about being seriously depressed could be the starting point to bring her up to date?

Good luck.

[Detia]

Thank you Byzantine, I will definitely take that into consideration.

[Leed]

Hi Detia ~ Why can't you talk to her after your younger sister has gone to bed? I assume she has an earlier bedtime -- at least she should. Hopefully by then, your Mom has settled down and is perhaps watching TV or isn't as "busy" as she was earlier. Just ask if you can please have a chat, and then sit down at talk it over with her. Assure her that what you're going to tell her isn't anything that's wrong -- just something that you want to tell her.

I'm sure she'll agree with you that you did the right thing. I must say that for an 18yr old, you are extremely mature for your age!!! I applaud you for recognizing that you needed help and didn't hesitate to find it. I wish all teens were as insightful as you are. God bless you and please let us know how it comes out with your Mom. Hugs, Lee

[Detia]

The funny thing is that their bedtimes are almost at the same time. Usually they are both out cold between 8:30 and 9pm.. Which with a tired mom, I've often tried to talk to her after my sister was laid down... However she's often too tired to process what I'm trying to talk about.

However when my sister is at school, around lunch is usually when my mom takes a break to settle down.. depending on the stresses of the day... So I may try that time and stress that it's just something I wanted to tell her... I hope she agrees I did the right thing, a few friends have commended me for getting help when I believed I needed it.. However my mom is skeptical of therapists. I also have a habit of being vaguely hypochondriac-y or impressionable...

So I'm afraid she might say that I was just picking up the depression from a friend or something, and insist that it wasn't necessary to see a therapist... However I know how bad it was, and how much better it is now.. So I'll try to stick to my position while being understanding of her views..

Thank you so much, Lee. I really appreciate your kind words and suggestions.