[twistedmoon]

Im a very cynical person but I dont know when that happened, because I wasnt always like this! And despite this I fell for the man that I married, and still love him to death after so long. I dont know if it was because im masochistic and feel like I should be hurt sometimes, or if I thought I could take the crap he dishes out, or if the idea of a less ordinary life with him appealed to me more than the same humdrum relationship everyone else seemed satisfied with, but I married him knowing he was clinically diagnosed as a sociopath.I honestly havnt felt that my marriage has been any worse than most others, until recently. But lately things have been falling apart and its just been one thing after another. He has been ignoring me for the past year (although he has been doing better with this the past couple of weeks) and is in very major trouble with the law, and has thrown serious doubt on himself as a person and our relationship. Im posting this so I can try getting my mind straight and hoping to get outside guidance on how I can re-open communication with him because I cant play this game right now. We have been married 15 years and known each other for 17 but these circumstances are very new. * I care about him so much and just want my partner back, the man Ive been married to all this time!

[Perna]

Hi, twistedmoon, I'm sorry you and your marriage are going through this really tough time now. Maybe a bit of a separation would help some, with the law stepping in to take custody of him for awhile so he can be forced to do some thinking away from you and you can get your own life more back on track and do some thinking in your own space too? I know the separation prison brings and its difficulties but it can also be a time out space where better things might grow if one wants to work at that?

[twistedmoon]

Hi and thank you for taking the time for me. A couple months ago we went through this "separation time" were he spent almost a week in jail and our communication has taken a turn for the worse since then.I know I should be taking some time to do some thinking for myself but it has been impossible for me to do while hes in the middle of an invstigation

[Leed]

Hi ~ I'm sorry this is happening to you. It sounds like this guy is "bad news." I know you love him, but even you said that he's been ignoring you for the past year. Obviously, he's been "up to something" this past year or perhaps even longer.

I assume he's being held during this investigation ~ and I hope you are taking this time to do some serious thinking about what kind of future this marriage has. It looks to me like you're going to be spending alot of time alone in the future. Is this what you want? I don't think so. And i don't think that you should be expected to wait for however many YEARS he gets for his "play-time escapades." I know I would NOT sit at home and wait. You are young enough to still build a very happy future for yourself with SOMEONE ELSE.

Please don't reward this idiot by waiting for him. he doesn't deserve your loyalty. You've been a good wife - but he's betrayed you more than once. it's time that YOU found a life of your own. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[twistedmoon]

He has not been taken anywhere or held yet. The only way he was made aware of this investigation was when the man who runs the hangar he uses told him federal agents had asked for his flight records, and he contacted his lawyer, who was only informed he is being investigated "in connection with several cases of rape and homicide." The lawyer says this is legal speak for him being the suspect of the investigation. They havent even tried to speak to him.

You are right I do love him. Hes my partner, and I cant stand any of this! This is so frightening to me its almost surreal, but the thought of abandoning everything, him, our home, in the midst of all this is even more so.My fear stems more from possibly losing him and the life I thought i had then of him being truly dangerous to me or anyone else *

Hello, twistedmoon. I hope everything gets sorted for the best.

[Emma3]

Hey twistedmoon, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I don't know if I can be of much help, but I'll tell you this. If I was in your place, I would be scared of losing everything too. If you truly love him, and if you've seen in the past 17 years that he loves you too, then you should be there for him. I don't know what trouble he's suspected to be in, but no matter what, he is my husband. I know he's been ignoring you for a long time and things have been weird, but maybe you should talk to him. What I do when someone gets pissed at me or you know, gets weird, I make a joke of it. If he asks rhetorical, crazy questions to make me feel low or bad, I answer them with a sense of humour. Sure, he'll wanna kill you in the beginning, but then he'll realize that he's being irrational and well, hopefully he'll stop.

I don't know, I hope you get it sorted out